Something Else

Ho!

2012-01-06T12:54:00.009+11:00

Ho! Ho!

We have had a great Xmas this year. It was so much fun watching Jack actually opening stuff this year, instead of just sucking on the wrapping paper & falling asleep in my lap.
He of course was totally spoilt. I can't help myself.

Mum got back from USA, bringing us some lovely memories of Aunty Aileen & a little tractor trailer from Pam for Jack - which he loves.

Here are some catch-up photos...

Jack enjoying his bath.

Muuuum!

His hair was too long to even stand up with the soap!

Christmas Morning..

Looking a little dazed..

Jack & Darren in the new cubby house..I missed the photo - but Jack was kissing his house!

Darren's side came for lunch at our place.

My fantastic table setting skills

We went to the tram museum - I figured I might as well feed Jack's obsession...

At least Dad was looking at the camera!

I have no idea why Jack was pulling this face - funny though.

And someone got there first official haircut - thanks Grandma!

We bribed him with chocolate covered sultanas...hey - whatever works!

34

2011-11-18T09:44:00.001+11:00

Ha ha I did not break my 80 day record.......

But I won't make any promises for the next few months - my calendar is filling up pretty quickly & my computer is dying at the same rate - time to get a new one. So getting motivated to even turn the thing on, is quite hard.

In the last month we -

Went to the Grand Designs Australia Show - thanks Jess for the tickets.

Attended the Grand Opening of my cousin Kellie's beautiful new interiors store - Pad Interiors. (so proud of you girl!).

I hosted a jewelry party, a book party & a BBQ for 10.

I held a guess the smell quiz with products from Airwick - supplied from a great site called www.thesoup.com.au - check it out.

Jack learnt to climb on & off the lounge, to drag us to the fridge 28 times a day, to make us read the same truck book 57 times a day, to put things in the toilet, to place puzzle pieces in the right holes & to scare the heck out of us with a mystery rash, vomiting & 4 straight days of fever!

In other news..............

I want one of these...

We had some professional photos taken of the kid - lucky enough to get them for FREE!!! Thanks Cassie at Bedford Photography..

I grew these in my garden - OK fine - they grew themselves, cause God knows I'm no gardener!

Hmmmm the truck book - again!

So do I just let him have our bed & move us into the 3rd bedroom??

I got jack this book - it plays Xmas songs & has the words - he really likes it (and the truck book)

Best bargain ever.

RIP to my beautiful, inside & out, Great Aunt Aileen. Love you lots.

80!

2011-10-16T11:52:00.000+11:00

Yep - that's correct, it's been 80 days since my last blog. And I can't even say that I've been that busy that in those 80 days I didn't have a spare minute to Blog - I've been a little busy, a little sick, had a family crisis, Jack's been sick - but I could have had time to blog. I blame it on Foxtel.

Jack's sick, whiny, snot nosed kid look....

I surprised Darren with Jace Everett tickets at the Brass Monkey - he was fantastic. If you don't know him - he sings the True Blood theme - Bad Things.

We had a front row table. And he spoke directly to us a couple of times.

I found all these dummies stuck between the wall & Jacks cot! Now I pull out the cot & make him retrieve them.

As promised last blog - Jack got his own swing & was absolutely loving it - one day he would not let me get him out & he went to sleep in it. Unfortunately the rope wore a bit so it's down for the moment, but Daddy will fix it soon, right Daddy? Daddy??? Daaaaddddddyyyyy????

We got 2 of these units from Ikea & Jack helped put them together.

Jack is obsessed with the vacuum cleaner! Thank God - now I'll have 2 people in the house to do it..he follows Darren around & one time was in the bath when Darren started it up & we had a major tantrum until I got him out to chase it!

Any swing will do - he laughs & giggles like a mad man.

Jack got this bike for his birthday off some very dear neighbours at Loftus. He loves it.

Dad has been such a big help doing lots of handyman things that I would have paid someone to do. Here he is putting in the new range hood. He's already put in the new oven. And we replaced the dishwasher too. It was amazing how by just replacing those appliances the kitchen looked 100% better.

Darren, his dad & a mate replaced some tiles on the laundry & outside toilet. So now it doesn't leak, there was supposed to be some painting done - but I'm still waiting for that.

Jack & a book - I'm not kidding, we read about 15 books a day when we are at home. I'm so glad he is interested & that he brings them to me all the time. I love watching him learn. Every cow gets a "mmmmmooooo" now.

"Little ditty about Jack & Roxanne - two dirty kids gettin' as clean as they can" - hehe..
Jack loves, loves, loves the bath - it's my "go to" thing when he is driving me nuts.

He will spend absolutely ages sticking those letter things on the tiles (thanks Louise!) & if I'm in the bath with him, he sticks them all over me too.

Since July---

We moved completely into the house (5th August).

Had a massive housewarming party.

We've been to Jace Everett, 1927, Meatloaf & Chris Isaak - loved all of them.

Spent time at the hospital with Darren's mum - turns out her vertigo was a brain tumor. She is having chemo now.

Jack has now got 10 teeth.

Jack had hand, foot & mouth disease - mild case luckily.

I've had heaps of time off work with an upper respiratory tract infection.

I've a few fights with telstra.

Darren & I had our very first out alone, just the 2 of us dinner since Jack was born! I got smashed on 2 glasses of wine - good night!

I saw a psychic & grandma came to visit me.

I attended a great talk by Maggie Dent on the importance of play & building resilience in our kids.

Darren took me to Ikea for my birthday (my request).

I found out I'm going to be an auntie again.

I was in a fashion parade!

But the most important thing of all - WE PAID OUR CRUISE DEPOSITS!!!!! WOOOHOOOO!

326 sleeps to go.

Ours

2011-07-28T15:06:00.014+10:00

Picture time again!

Jack enjoying a swing a Luis's place - he will have one of his own soon.

Jack in his new favorite place - he will spend ages putting toys on here then climbing up to push them off! And Miss Abbey is his little playmate.

Yet another swing....he really loves them.

And finally here is the outcome of spending almost a year living with the folks....seriously we love you guys to death & truly appreciate everything you do for us. But we won't be doing that again & I'm sure you'd agree - hahaha.

Oops - this one snuck in out of order.... Jack's black eye.

2 Mr Robinsons.

The wonderful, funny, smelly Dad putting in our new vanity.

Patching up the 3rd bedroom

My door in my door....

The View...

Outside to inside...

More view...

Verandah...

More view...

more view..

Front foyer into lounge room..

New vanity going in.

Old vanity on the way out.

My fantastic, beautiful, wonderful mother - once again painting for us. At least we'll get to sleep in this room...

Starting to unpack amidst the painting..

Lower backyard where the mandarin & lemon tree are - & mum thinks some grapes also. And the area that will be tidied up to become the cat shelter.

More backyard.

Ugly laundry & outside toilet.

Ugly backdoor.

How many men does it take to change a letter box?

Backdoor foyer.

Backyard from the verandah.

More verandah.

View from kitchen window.

Kitchen to living.

Jack's room. Before the tenants moved out.

Cupboard that is now antique white.

Kitchen.

So come on over!

One!

2011-05-31T12:10:00.028+10:00

Dear Jack,

My beautiful, funny, cheeky, non-sleeping little chicken! I don't think I'll ever be able to express all the emotions you have brought into mine & Daddy's life in this past year & in the time since we found out that you were on your way to us.

Talk about happy!!
I couldn't believe it when I saw those 2 lines on that stick. I had tested so many of those little plastic sticks over the 11 years that we had been waiting for you - I was stunned to see, finally, a second line appearing!
We couldn't keep a secret & all the Grandparents & Aunties & Uncles & friends & just everyone was so pleased to hear our news.

Talk about sad.
For one whole night we thought we had lost you before you even arrived & thinking about that night still upsets me, because I now know what we would have missed out on - a gorgeous little boy that drives us crazy!

You are now 1 & that first year of your life has flown by in the blink of an eye. Your arrival has wrought many changes in our lives - least of all lack of sleep. You are now our first thought in every decision we make & because of you we will soon be moving to our new house with a yard - just for you!

I love to see you learning & I am convinced you are a genius! You blow me away everyday with the new things that you do, it seems like I only show you a new thing once or twice & you just "get it".
You love to read books & I am so happy about that, I think & hope that books will be something that you & I will share for the rest of our lives.
You love people & are always ready with your beautiful smile to make everyone feel special. Everyone we meet comments on how gorgeous you are & it's always about your big blue eyes & curly, curly blonde hair.

So far you have a mostly happy nature, though you can certainly chuck a good tantrum when you feel it's necessary!

Chicken, we have so many more things to teach you - Daddy & I just can't wait to see what kind of person you grow into - hopefully the best of both of us!

Love, love, love,
Mummy & Daddy.

Then

2011-05-25T09:35:00.003+10:00

At this moment last year I was in labour with the child I thought I'd never have, and in 14.5 hours I would be holding the screaming, shriveled, pink baby I thought I'd never hold.

How my life has changed!

I used to stay up all night because Jess was over & we were watching stupid TV or playing video games.

I used to get a shower everyday.

I used to get to pee without yelling out "I'll be right back - just a minute - it's ok!"

I used to watch the news - not Iggle Piggle.

I used to shop for myself.

I used to bathe alone.

I used to get drunk.

I used to read all night.

I used to sleep-in every weekend.

I used to talk to my friends more than once a month.

I used to not smell like vomit.

I used to gag at baby poop.

I used to have more topics to talk about.

I used to really, really want a baby.

Now - I couldn't be happier!!!!!

Dear

2011-05-19T09:57:00.002+10:00

Anonymous (you know who you are),
Please take this blog entry as a heart felt apology. My slackness knows no bounds. My promises are empty. I will endeavour to do better in the future. I will employ my idle hands in blog entry making.

MAYBE!

I did have good intentions for this month - but you know other things have gotten in my way.
Jack's first birthday planning is in full swing, still a few things to organise though. Not that he will remember any of it. I will though.

Also buying a house is very time consuming - all that fantasising about where to put the furniture & whether to paint or not & OH MY GOD are we making the right decision???
Too late now - signed papers this morning.......ARGHH!

I hope Darren & Jack like toast, because that's what we'll be living on now.

Complainers!

2011-03-31T12:24:00.012+11:00

Well just one complainer actually - Uncle Muncle!

Don't worry - I'll be back at work in 4 weeks - sure I'll have plenty of time to update then!

In short....

Camping was great, of course it rained, but it wouldn't be right if it didn't!

Visit from M.A.Y. was lovely - so nice to see the cousins playing.

Jack still loves playgroup & rhymetime at the library (when we get there).

Went to the latest Chris Isaak concert - after showing up a week early! - it was great as always & we met some lovely people.

I go back to work on the 28th of April. So I'm trying to mentally prepare for that. Not going too well.

We are going to house-sit in Sylvania in May.

I'm hoping to do some cruise organising soon.

And I'll be planning Jack's 1st birthday party. Man that came around quick. I look at him & can't believe how much he has changed since birth. He's really, really clever, just like his mother - in fact I think he's a child prodigy!(haha)

He is still pulling up on everything & everyone, but now he wants you to hold his hands (both of them) & walk with him. We are all becoming hunchbacks - particularly Poppy! Jack just hunts Poppy down & screams at him until he gets up to walk with him - poor Poppy - it's funny though!

We don't think it will be long before he's walking on his own. I really think it will happen before his birthday.

So I have more photos - as usual - again they are in no particular order...

Enjoy!

Playing cubby houses with Abbey.

Stalking Poppy...

Ready for the beach.

At playgroup with Luis.

At Jolly Jumbucks - he was tired so didn't enjoy this much!

Look at that tickle tummy!

Love Jack's expression here! This is Ethan, Natalie & Jeremy's new bubba.

Helping Daddy & Poppy put up the gate.

First time at East's Beach.

What?

Stop taking photo's & bring my breakfast woman!

Cranky Chef!

Trying to get Jack to stop eating the bread & throw it to the ducks.

Playtime with Auntie Jess in my jail cell!

Put out the king Daddy..

There's got to be some way out of here!

And now for the first time ever - video!!!!!

Hi!

2011-02-28T14:18:00.008+11:00

It's been forever! But I'm back, & will really try to at least update every couple of weeks now. I've got heaps of photo's to put up - so here we go....also blogger won't let me put photo's in the order I want...

Eating I mean opening Christmas presents - we opened 3 then he fell asleep in my lap!

Beach with Uncle Muncle & cousin Ayisha.

First time at the beach - too cold for swimming though!

Hanging out with Ayisha.

Showing off my haul of goodies.

Swimming with Ayisha.

Nap time with Daddy.

My other mummy Abbey giving me breakfast.

First girl in my bed! Roxanne.

Noooo Mummy I didn't take Roxanne's dummy!! How could you think such a thing?

Playgroup - after which each week I sleep for at least 3 hours! Mummy loves playgroup!

Hmmm vegemite toast - Mum says if I don't like it I'm not her kid. Good thing I like it.

In the car.

I like facing forwards.

At Roxanne's house - stole her rattle....

Moved away from her....

I didn't Mummy!!

Back to Xmas morning again.

Our small pile of pressies!

My snowman outfit.

Morning after Mum's work Xmas party.

Not in this bed anymore - but still sleeping way up the top when I have a whole big bed for sleeping in!

Antenatal group Xmas get together - first sit on Santa's lap.

I looooove the jolly jumper - just not straight after eating!

Hopefully that will hold you all for a while - I've got heaps more pics - but I'll save em for next time.

I'm crawling like a champion.

I'm pulling up on any piece of furniture or pair of legs that I can find.

I roll my ball then chase after it.

I say "Mumumumumum" & "Bububububububub".

I can find people when asked "where's Poppy, Daddy, Grandma, Pussycat?".

I am so ticklish it isn't funny.

I eat everything offered to me.

I can use a straw.

I love bathtime.

I crack the biggest tantrums at bed time. Doesn't matter how tired I am.

I love my cats but I'm a bit scared of dogs - don't know why.

I love kisses & cuddles.

I love story time every morning.

We are going camping at East Beach this week - have moved our annual holiday dates from Easter weekend hoping for better weather (it'll probably rain). So hopefully Jack will get his first swim in the ocean & his first play on the sand. Maybe it will make him sleep ALL night long. Mummy would love that.

We'll be house-sitting in Sylvania from the 3rd May till the 31st. There will be 2 dogs there, so maybe we can cure Jack of his fear.

I'm going back to work on the 28th of April, I don't want to. I just don't want to miss out on seeing him do more new things. I love watching Jack "get" stuff - from crawling to putting a ball in a toy's mouth to run down the ramp attached.

I'll miss him.

Pumpkin!

2010-11-30T10:46:00.007+11:00

Here's the moment you've all been waiting for!

Jack has "real" food.

This is just pumpkin & a little cereal.

Poor kid had to do it in front of an audience - I should have charged admission!

Well this would have a video of Jack eating - BUT I don't know how to make it shorter to fit the maximum size I'm allowed to put on Blogger - so if you want to see it - send me your email & I'll pass it on! Or I'm sure Uncle Muncle can learn me when he gets here.

Here's a still photo to whet your appetite!

I've also got a new bath seat!

And I also ate a rusk - well I made it a bit soggy.

Kid

2010-11-17T16:02:00.008+11:00

Slackers post again - lots of photos.

All the Howes came to visit.

Facing forward!

Happy Bubba.

All the Mothers Group kids.

We went to visit my old boss Kath at Wentworthville.

And Uncle Jack at Mollymook.

And Aunty Hellen at Mollymook.

Morning story time with Dad - Jack loves this book - Where is the Green Sheep?

Proof!

With Godfather Adam.

Floor time with Poppy.

Best purchase yet - the walker that allows us to eat dinner with two hands!

Some of the Mothers Group kids.

First sleep in the portacot.

Love the hair.

With Nanna & Big Poppy.

Not a great shot!

Playing with Mikayla.

Helping with the washing.

Oh my God - a shot with Darren awake!

Chatting away to Kellie.

I love this jacket.

Fathers Day morning (can't remember if I already posted this one).

WTF Mum!!!!

Ok he doesn't like the bumbo!

Again

2010-11-11T13:59:00.002+11:00

Moving again - Jack will have had 4 changes of address in his first 6 months of life! Lucky he's so easy going.

He is almost sitting by himself - we just need a little more practice.

He loves being tickled & will laugh & chuckle & squeal very loudly.

He kicks like a maniac in the bath, & cries his head off when you want to dry & dress him.

He loves being pushed around in his walker by Miss Abbey - who comes to Grandma's - but walks in the front door & straight out the back door & through the gate to see "Baby Jack". She is so funny with him. She wants to carry him around, cuddle him & dress him & she gets quite upset when Jack has to go out while she is visiting.

We read the same books every morning & now if I say to him "Where is the Green Sheep?" he smiles in recognition.

Jack loves his play mat & I try to switch the toys around regularly so he has something new to look at.

He always has the biggest smile for anyone who talks to him - I think he makes people feel good by doing that.

He is excellent at pooping now & managed to cover himself a lot & Poppy a little with some poop earlier today. About time someone else copped it - although he did get Darren up his arm while he was doing a nappy change one day - shame I missed it.

We have enjoyed living at the Ellender's place (except for the mouse) & will miss the space (& Foxtel!) but I am looking forward to sleeping better back in my old room, & having some extra adults around so that I can shower or whatever without worrying about Jack.

I don't want to wish time away - but I can't wait till everyone is together for Xmas & love the idea of getting away together - someone better find those biscuits (mum).

Learnt

2010-10-17T22:45:00.001+11:00

Never brag that your child has never done a number 3!
Within the day you will have had to do 2 complete outfit changes due to uncontainable poop.
And within the week there will have been 3 of them.
I have been schooled.

Score

2010-10-15T15:37:00.001+11:00

Vicki 1

Mouse 0

War

2010-10-14T17:49:00.003+11:00

So I have a great baby who sleeps mostly really well - BUT last night I was awake from midnight to 4.30am because of a stupid little black mouse!

I was all prepared to let him live the first time I saw him, about a week ago. I was sitting in bed feeding Jack at 4.30am & I saw a tissue move across the floor - "how cute" I thought. And all would have been fine except that last night the rotten thing was doing laps of the bedroom with his size 10 boots on!

It was so loud that at first I thought someone was tapping on the window! So of course I freaked myself out & spent ages trying to get a look at him because with all the noise I started to think that maybe it wasn't the same mouse but maybe a rat!! And I could hear it near Jack's cot. I eventually got a look & it was the same little mouse. So panic subsided - but I can't afford to lose that much sleep again so tonight the little bugger better beware cause the traps are being set!!

Oh & Darren better be prepared for removal of carcass duty - cause you know I ain't doing that!

Jabbed

2010-10-13T12:23:00.002+11:00

As per Uncle Mikes request - here is a blog entry.

Today Jack got jabbed, in both legs then had liquid shoved in his gob - and except for the bit when the needle went in, he smiled all the way through it. Such a good kid.

I have no complaints, he is eating, sleeping & playing just like he should. He looks like a giant but is actually average height for his age & only a little bit over weight wise. He does like a good meal!

We are currently house sitting for the Ellenders & enjoying foxtel iq & their lovely big house. And the convenience of being so close to the folks, maybe they can stay in the USA & we can house sit forever!

Abbey comes to visit Jack & the jumpjump (trampoline) every chance she gets.

Darren just spent the weekend attending the V8's in Bathurst - corporate all the way! He loved it although Ford lost. He came home with a Ford car, a Ford jumpsuit, a Ford T'shirt & a Ford hoodie for Jack, ranging from size 00 to size 4!! Nothing for mummy though!

So most mornings Jack & I sleep in till we feel like getting up, we read 3 story books - he has a great attention span, we sing songs while we get dressed. He then plays on his gym mat & we practice rolling over. I really hope he stays as happy as he is!

Night times are also pretty easy - he goes to bed when I do & usually wakes only once in the night anywhere from 1.30am to 3am for a feed.

We just graduated from the bassinet to the portacot because he was too big, and even that didn't phase him. Great kid.

We are eagerly awaiting visitors from Tassie & M.A.Y. from Malaysia - Hurry UP!!!!!

Photo's next time! Foxtel is calling me!

Moved

2010-09-23T10:36:00.009+10:00

Yes I know - I'm getting there!

It's hard to put down the almost 7 kilo & 64cm long baby & do anything else!

Jack is growing so quickly. He is such a good baby. And it is so lovely to wake in the morning to a beautiful smiling boy. And while he has his moments, they are few & far between & mostly involve the car seat!

He loves a good chat & has a talk with Poppy every morning. He will also talk to himself in the mirror on his play mat. And to me when I'm trying to feed him!!

He likes having a big bath with mum or dad & enjoys a good belly raspberry!

He has rolled over twice from front to back & can pick up his own toys. He loves to stand All the time! My arms are killing me.

He has ticklish feet & just like his Dad will go from happy to crappy in 2 seconds!

Latest photos......

We abandoned Jack in the car park - only for a second though!

Jess's birthday at the Tradies.

Our new room on moving day.

Poor Grandma's lounge room on moving day - it's looking slightly better now!

I labelled everything for moving day - & I mean everything!

All our helpers.

Lounge Cushion Man!

How many men does it take to move a unit?

How cute is this kid!

Lived like this for a few weeks before moving day - drove me nuts!

So now we are all settled in to Grandma & Poppy's.

Our unit sold within 5 days of being on the market & we got a great price. Settlement will be 6 weeks & we only have 2 weeks left. So all done!

Next weekend we are going to start going to open houses & auctions - just to see what's out there.

We are missing Grandma a lot & can't wait till she gets home. She won't recognise Jack!

Christened

2010-09-04T10:49:00.006+10:00

I know, I know! slack on the updates - but heaps has been happening - first things first.

Jack was christened on the 1.8.10. We had the first great weather in about a week & it was a beautiful sunny day. Thank God!

Here are some photos...

Getting ready - Janna can you spot the monkey pants??

The very old dress that I also wore for my christening.

Because the weather was so good - it worked well that we didn't have to put Jack in the car & crush the fragile gown - so he went in the pram & Darren walked him to the church.

We had Kristen, Jess, Adam Langsam & Adam Laidler as Jack's Godparents.

Jacks "no deal" pose..

I had a beautiful candle made - you can just see here the photo on it. It has the baptism date on it & a lovely quote & the godparents names.

Another reason we were glad about the weather was that we were having lunch at Mums in the back yard. So it was nice to sit in the sun.

Jack got to meet his cousin Emily from Hong Kong for the first time.

This is Haydan & Abbey having a seesaw ride.

Family Pic.

Darren's speech...

"I'd like to thank me & Vic for having Jack! I still remember the day we found out we were pregnant. When Vic told me I didn't know whether to cry or go "woohoo" So I did both.

We've waited a long time for this & we are really happy that he's here.

I'd like to thank the parents because without them there'd be not us & no Jack.

I'd like to thank the Godparents, Jess, Adam, Adam & Kristen - between the four of them Jack will be full of information. Between the girls they'll keep him on track. & I will tell Jack that if Adam doesn't know to ask the other one!

I'd like to thank all the people who made food, Anna & Imelda for making the cake & Tom & Imelda for letting us use their place.

I'd like to thank the Swishotel because that's where it all started.

And I'd like to thank all of you guys, because without our friends & family we wouldn't have anything!

Let's cut the cake!"
Uncle Adam also made a speech that had us all in tears....

"Hello & thank you all for coming

This is an amazing day and a day many of us thought would never happen!

I can't begin to tell you how honored and proud I am to be Jacks Godfather.

Not sure if it was the best decision,

But I am sure I'm the man who will have an answer if our Jack gets stuck upon his way.

I'll have a trick to make it better or make it go away.

There ain't many a situation I haven't turned around and lets just say I've seen a bit of both sides of town.

But seriously, when thinking about today and the many before it a word kept coming to mind & the meaning of that word just happened to be what I hope to instill in Jack & my own children, although if he is anything like his parents he won't need any help in this department!

The word is PURSUIT the meaning/act of pursuing, chasing or striving after.

I can't think of a better quality to give a child, or better word to explain the journey that Vicki & Darren have been through to get here to this moment, in their pursuit of happiness.

For many years we have waited for this, and many tears, not of the kind we see today have been shed.

When Vicki first announced that she was pregnant, you can't imagine the joy that I felt, knowing how important this had been to her & having wanted cousins for Jaydan & Abbey for so long, it was a prayer many of us had said many, many times - Answered!

So began a little less then 9 months of worry for all involved. I prayed, wished and hoped for his safe arrival & thank God, through a little suffering on Vicki's behalf the long awaited First Robinson child is here!

So I would like you all to raise your glasses & drink to many healthy, happy years for Jack & many more children for Vicki & Darren!!!

Thank you again for coming to celebrate the birth of Jack Thomas.

And Vicki & Darren

Someday - and that day may never come- I'll call upon you to do a service for me - (the Godfather 1972)"

That last comment from Adam - the Godfather quote - was only picked up by me - & I said to him - that "I will come to you on the day of your daughters wedding!" he & I cracked up - but no-one else got it!

So we had a fantastic, beautiful day. surrounded by family & friends & missing those that couldn't be here.

PIX!

2010-08-04T13:05:00.037+10:00

Lazy blog entry today - can only do so much one handed!

Asleep in the capsule.

Poo we saved for Daddy to change!
Dad in the usual "watching" Jack position.
Outfit from cousin Ayisha.
Loving my swing.
Abbey's baby Snoozy on Jacks play mat.
Abbey playing with Jack.
Morning feed time.
Hurry up Mum!!!!
Dad babysitting again!
What??
How cute is this onesie.
Tummy time.
Check the hair.
This sound is "ooooooo".
Quick Mum go to the loo!
Great, Great Aunty Una made this fantastic Peter Rabbit for Jack, it is embroidered all over & is made from napkins from Jacks Great Nanna's glory box - they are over 100 years old.
I saw a cat in a tree.
Dinner at Sylvania Pub with Helen & Dean, Daniel, Louise & Andrew.
My friend Baraka at the early childhood centre.
Chillaxin' at Grandma's with the Absta.

Abbey loves, loves, loves Baby Jack.

Fighting the cats for the play mat - again!

Cheeky!
This is why when Darren has him now - they go out for a walk!!
Heh!
Onesie picked out by Poppy Tom.

Photo taken by Beth - I like it cause I only have one chin!

Follow

2010-07-16T09:27:00.002+10:00

Look!

Two entries in 2 days.

Just want to ask anyone who's reading me to scroll down & chose to "Follow Me" on the right hand side of the page - if you haven't already. I'm just curious to see if there is more than 5 of you!

Thanks!

Bickersville

2010-07-15T15:48:00.024+10:00

Yeah it's all fun & games till the Mummy gets so tired & cranky she starts throwing phones & water bottles & whatever else I can reach - although not the tv remote - cause I need that!!

This week has been a million times better - but last week - man oh man.

I truly understand why sleep deprivation is used as a torture device - it makes you crazy.

It's crappy trying to have a fight without yelling, makes you get creative though - hence the phone throwing!

All is calm again now.

On a better note, my fat little froggy is steadily gaining weight & as of today weighs 5440 grams!

He is really well, & such a good boy, we had a slight feeding issue over the last week, but worked out what the problem was & now we're good. It's heartbreaking to hear him cry & really not know what to do - it was such a relief to fix the problem, which was really him just being fussy about the changes happening to my breasts - which are common at about 6-7 weeks in.

Jack has been enjoying some floor time on/under his new gym - though he has to share with the other kids that live here - they spend all their time trying to get under the mat - cause it's warm under there!

Beth & Denise came for a visit & gave Jack some great new clothes. Also we got a new lounge, as modeled here by Beth. Its not got stripey cushions - that's a vomit/poop protector sheet!

Darren has been taking Jack to his folks place on a Sunday morning. He leaves straight after Jacks morning feed & I get to sleep until they get back. The first time Darren did this, I woke up in exactly the same position I was in when they left!

Catherine, James, Adam & Noah also came to visit. While the adults were interested in Jack - the kids just loved the cats!

I finally took Jack into work to see everyone. We got up after a 5.30am feed & caught my old train to work. We saw all the train ladies except Carla & Anne. We surprised everyone at work & got lots of compliments about how cute Jack is & how much he looks like Darren.

We walked through Hyde Park.

We went to St Mary's Cathedral to see Anne.

Monica has a nurse.

Sonia has a nurse.

Who's this cute kid?

Amina has a nurse.

Parthi has a nurse.

Igor has a nurse.

It was a very busy day, we didn't get home until after 3pm.

This week I've had a cold - first time I've been sick since before I was pregnant! It sucks. I think Jack might have gotten my sore throat & he is a little bit snuffly - but it's not stopped him eating at all!

And on that note - got to go - food time for the frog!

Shots

2010-06-26T21:31:00.020+10:00

Photo's again! Will get time for a proper post sometime - maybe 2015!!

Love this picture - taken by Michael or Yan on day 1.

First time in the bassinet.

Windy smile.

Shower with Dad - Jack loves the shower but hates the naked time on the way to the shower & directly following the shower!

One of 3 shots in a frame - will post the whole thing next time.

Only the 2nd family photo in existence! This does not show how tired I am!!!

Tummy time with Dad.

The only bath Jack has not screamed through.

I have a brown doodie - because I got circumcised. It's all better now.

Jack loves to be wrapped tightly.

Monkey bum outfit from Auntie Janna - way too cute!

Copied

2010-06-14T16:44:00.003+10:00

I stole this idea off Janna's blog. I meant to put it on the side of my page though. I'll have to try again.

00.05

2010-06-07T12:14:00.012+10:00

So here is what I remember...

Sunday 23rd of May - last decent nights sleep! Surprisingly I wasn't awake all night worrying & wondering about the inducement, I slept pretty well.

Monday 24th of May - last minute running around & packing bags for me, Darren & baby for the hospital - not that we needed half of the stuff anyway!

Monday evening - after being teary on & off all day, every time I thought about this being our last day of just us. We headed to Sizzler at Kogarah for dinner before going to the hospital. At this point I felt excited to get started - but anxious to get started!

Checked in about 7pm, was put in room 13 (lucky for me) with one other girl, Alex, who was also being induced. Got my first hospital ID since I was born put on my wrist. And was then given an ultrasound so they could check the baby's position. Then they stuck a bloody great cannula needle in my arm that irritated me all night & wasn't even being used!!

First internal - very uncomfortable & painful. Was told that I am 1 centimetre dilated & she can feel the baby's head. She then inserted the first dose of Gel to start the cervix thinning. Then I had the belly monitor on to check for movement & any contractions. I asked Darren to adjust the bed - he hit the wrong thing & dropped it totally down! It was only funny because it didn't hurt!

After about 30 minutes I started having small contractions about every 15 minutes or so. Nothing really strong or serious. Darren left around 10ish & I tried to sleep, but it was very hard in the uncomfortable bed, with the cannula in my arm & all the hospital noise. I ended up playing Yahtzee on my iPhone at 1am!

Finally got some sleep only to be woken at 5.45 for another internal & a second dose of gel - I was still only 1 centimetre dilated but apparently the cervix was softer. I was put back on the monitor again. After being freed from the monitor I had my breakfast & was still having mild contractions. Mum & Darren arrived at around 9am & we just sat for a bit & walked the ward for a bit. All the while my contractions were getting stronger & closer little by little. Eventually I laid back down. The hospital has a policy of all visitors leaving between 12.30 & 3pm for a mandatory rest period (little Amazing Race there!) So Mum & Darren walked down to St George Leagues Club for lunch & to meet Jess. I had my lunch & tried to rest, but it was really noisy & someone was drilling something!

Mum, Darren & Jess came back. I think we just talked & ate & tried to play cards. Don't really remember. I do know that the cannula that kept me awake all night ended up having to be removed because it broke or something & then it took 3 different people 6 attempts to get another 2 into me. Besides being extremely painful, they ended up putting them into my hands - therefore limiting my use of my hands & really pissing me off.

I had a 3rd lot of gel put in at about 5 pm. And things started moving then. Much more painful & consistent contractions, I did manage to eat my dinner in between them though. Luckily cause it was my last opportunity to eat.

After this point it's a bit blurry -

Deb Mather visits.

Have another internal & am told I'm at 3 centimetres.

Pain gets stronger & closer.

Darren keeps notes of timing & length of contractions.

Jess & Darren start massaging my back during contractions.

Everyone takes turns giving me water & holding my hand.

I ask Darren to lay on the bed behind me, I'm feeling overwhelmed & upset & I really need a cuddle. He gets on the bed somehow. I have 2 more contractions while crying & getting a hug then suddenly something "pops" inside me - not my water breaking but more of a position move by the baby - whatever it was it bloody killed & I yelled at Darren "GET OFF THE BED!!!!" poor man never moved so fast!

From then on things get much more painful. And I start yelling. And I don't stop til the baby is out!

At some point my water breaks - I'm convinced I've peed the bed - but everyone else knows what really happened! I'm offered a shower but can't fathom getting off the bed, I'm then offered pethidine - I take it! - this doesn't ease the pain but makes me dozy in between contractions.

At around 10ish they decide to finally take me to the delivery suite. I'm asked if I can walk I hear Mum say "No". So I somehow, with help get into a wheelchair - I have more contractions on the way - in the lift foyer & in the hallway of the delivery suite.

While I was still on the ward, the room felt small & secure & I had stuff to hang onto during contractions - the side of the bed, the pull you up hanger thingy & I was bouncing my feet on the end of the bed as a bit of a distraction technique. Once I got into the delivery room I felt like the space was too bright & too big, I had nothing to hang onto - just people's hands - but this was hard because the finally used the cannula's & attached me to a drip in each hand. It was uncomfortable & scary.

The midwife was very matter of fact & not full of information. She just kept telling me not to push. Not pushing was not an option!! My body just did whatever it felt like.

I was in the delivery suite for about 1 & 1/2 hours but it feels like it was about 10 minutes to me. I know the yelling got louder & primal & I don't feel like there were any breaks. Then the head was out & then the shoulders felt stuck for a bit & then he was out & I immediately felt 100% better!

Time - 00.05

Date - 26.05.2010

Weight - 3700grms

Length - 52.2 cms

A beautiful baby boy. I still can't believe it. Darren & I have been so blessed to get to have this life experience.

Welcome to the world Jack Thomas Robinson.

I hope we do you proud.

Jack

2010-06-04T16:58:00.010+10:00

He's here!

And he's keeping us awake!

Here is a lazy blog entry full of photo's - Jack has kindly stayed asleep long enough to let me get these up - but is starting to stir, so there will be minimal comments on these photos.

Dad is a great help.

28 minutes old

Going home.

Feed me woman!!!

Spot the poop.

I know people were concerned - but I finally got my eggs benedict!!!!

Last

2010-05-24T12:42:00.002+10:00

Last day of endless sleep ins.

Last day of heartburn (please!).

Last day of wondering Jack or Sophie?

Last day of being completely lazy.

Last day of needle pricking.

Last day of worrying about the birth.

Last day of childlessness.

At last!

Nearly

2010-05-21T13:53:00.002+10:00

So 3 sleeps to go.

I'm enjoying a few lazy days - not doing much at all.

Michael, Yan & Ayisha have arrived & we are just hanging out & spending time together.

Ayisha is such a happy, smiley baby. I hope our baby is just as good natured.

Darren finishes work today for a 2 week break. I wish he could have longer off, but it's not possible. He is getting a little quieter about the baby stuff. And has said on a number of occasions that he hopes he will be a good dad. I told him that the fact that he's even worrying about being a good dad means that he is aware of dad stuff & will be fine. Plus he'll just do what I tell him anyway!

We are both nervous about Monday night. We plan to have an "us" day on Monday - movies & a nice meal probably. I can't decide what I want to eat. I also want to check I've got everything packed for the hospital. I finally got my birth plan printed out - but for some reason I'm thinking it won't even make it out of the bag. I'm trying to get into my head that things will just flow & all will be fine & before we know it I'll finally be holding my own baby.

Bring it on!

24th!!

2010-05-14T12:28:00.003+10:00

Oh my God! Official inducement date & time - 7pm Monday the 24th of May.

I'm alternating between excitement & stress!

I've said it before but I feel like I peed on that stick 2 days ago & now this baby is only about 11 sleeps away!!

All the material stuff is ready - I've made up the bassinet, the clothes are all washed, everything is put away in labelled baskets. I've even packed a bag for labour, a bag for the ward & a bag for the baby.

But I"M NOT READY!!!!!!!!

I wake up & the first thing I see is that bassinet & at the moment I get to use it to put the clothes on that I took off last night! In a very short time it will contain a little being that I'm COMPLETELY responsible for!! I sometimes freak out that I've got a mortgage & a real job - how do I bring up another whole person???

I want my child to be confident & happy & feel loved & wanted & content - how do you do that & instill a sense of responsibility, empathy & understanding for others. I don't want some little spoilt brat that people talk about when we leave. How do you ever say no to the child you've waited 10 years for???

This is going to be hard.

Showered!

2010-05-07T18:13:00.003+10:00

Here are a bunch of shots that Cindy took at the baby shower.

I had a fantastic, special, wonderful day.

I feel loved & spoiled by everyone's best wishes & generous gifts.

Darren & I & our baby to be are very, very lucky to have the friends & family that we do.

Lots

2010-05-01T14:27:00.019+10:00

I went back to the endocrinologist on Monday the 19th & he is happy with how things are progressing - I still haven't put on any weight at all - & I still find that hard to believe! He said my numbers are doing what he expects & my dosage of insulin will continue to rise as the hormones do.

I then went over to the Ante Natal Assessment Unit for them to check my blood pressure again. Expecting to do that once & then leave - not quite what happened! Mum & I got there at 11am & did not get to leave until 2.45pm! Talk about monitoring! They strapped me to the monitor again & took my BP about 6 times - every time was normal. So while it was boring & frustrating - I definitely cannot knock the amount of care they are taking to make sure all is ok - and they fed us lunch.

I had my last week at work - so grateful to not be hearing that alarm anymore - it was just getting too much after being up all night peeing & with heartburn. It's extra good now that the weather is cooler & the cats are sleeping in also - some mornings I've woken them up! They are still getting used to the new cat door though - we have to have it propped open a little bit still.

My last day at work was marked with a lunch.

My Team minus Andrew...

Sonia, Sneedha, Patty, Dunia & Andre.

Parthi - not always this happy...

Igor - not always this cranky...

Amanda & Angela - nice face Ang!

Amina & me.

The gorgeous looking & tasting cake.

On the 24th we went to Amina's housewarming & flashback party! Caught up with old workmates & had a great time reminiscing & eating Amina's great food - oh my God - so much food!!!

Matt, Angela, Gregg, Cathy, Johnny...

Amina, Jessica & Alicia.

Anzac Day was spent at the folks place, with the Morphis, Patterson, Langsam & Musico lot. Always nice to get together with everyone & just hang out & eat of course!

Monday of the long weekend Darren got a massage lesson from Jess - she thought it would be a good idea for him to learn some massage techniques to use when I'm in labour. He did a great job & I had a few moments were I couldn't tell if it was him massaging or Jess! I'm really happy he wants to do this also - I feel like it will mean he is more involved than just holding my hand. We are having another lesson this Monday. Yeah - I get to have another massage - without labour pain!

The rest of my first week off has been spent cooking & freezing meals for after the baby comes. I've done stacks already & I even found a recipe for Brunswick Stew which we first had in Virginia with Aileen - we loved it - so Darren said I had to make it. I hope mine tastes as nice. Apparently it was traditionally made with squirrel & onion - we just went with chicken.

On Thursday Jess was my taxi & took me to the clinic. We had to wait for ever. But now I've pretty much got a definite inducement date of the 24th of May. Baby's belly is getting big - which is a symptom of the diabetes, so he said they would induce 2 weeks early not 1 - & that means the 24th or maybe the 25th - either way that's 3 weeks away!!! It feels like I just found out yesterday that I was even pregnant!

THEN on Thursday night we went to trivia & raffles as usual & to my surprise my Tassie Aunties Kathryn & Mary were there to surprise me. I had been told they would not be able to make it to the baby shower. So it was a great surprise. I got all shaky & surprisingly cried! I'm so glad they came.

Friday I spent at Mum's hanging out with the relo's. Then Darren picked me up & went to Randwick to have some pregnancy photo's taken. It was definitely odd to be poking my belly out & trying to make it look big - instead of trying to hide it. We took heaps of shots, & I really hope that I don't hate all of them. Part of the photography package is a newborn photo session. So we are going to wait until we have the baby then go back to look at the before picks the same time we get baby photo's done. We took some with booties on my belly - so have to wait to see whether we want the pink or the blue!

I'm so excited for the baby shower tomorrow. I can't wait to see everyone & get to celebrate. I know I've said it before, but I just feel so lucky.

Protein

2010-04-18T13:05:00.009+10:00

So this is how I spent a few hours on Friday afternoon/evening......

Under that sheet are two straps around my belly attached to this.....

And this is how Darren spent the time -

.....except for the 10 minutes when the monitor moved off the heartbeat & the reading went to zero & Darren literally had a heart attack & rushed from the room to get help. I in the meantime moved the monitor around as it had only stopped reading cause the baby had moved position.

My day started great - Jess came & picked me up & took me to her place for a mostly relaxing massage - I've had really sore, restless legs at night & I was hoping she could fix them. She then dropped me at Sutherland Hospital to meet Darren for an ultrasound. I love ultrasounds, I could lie there all day looking at that baby! Anyway the scan showed baby with head down & facing my back, I immediately knew that baby got into that position over Easter weekend because that's when my pelvic area & the top of my legs started to get really, really sore & painful.

After the scan we had some lunch & headed to St George for my normal clinic visit & everything was fine until the midwife took my blood pressure, she said it was up a little bit so decided to also take a pee sample to test for protein, that came back with a little bit of protein so she rang the registrar who decided that I should be checked out further. By this time it is 4pm. Darren goes to move the car & I walk to the main entrance of the hospital & wait for him there, we go up to labour & delivery & they take me into a delivery room & take my blood pressure again - I'm thinking it will be up now because I'm a little bit worried - but it was perfectly normal - then she says she'll be checking it every hour! And I say "oh - how long am I going to be here?" And she says could be 4 hours!

She then says for me to lie on the bed & that's when I notice the straps for the monitor, I have really noticed that staff aren't too forthcoming with explaining what is going to happen - they just do it - so I stopped & said "what's happening?" then she said they were just going to monitor babies heartbeat & movement for a while. So I lay down & got strapped in.

I rang Mum & Dad's mobiles & the home number - but got no answer - so just played a game on my phone while Darren napped - though he didn't nap much, cause he couldn't stop watching the monitor - I actually couldn't see the read out from where I was lying so it wasn't bothering me!

Then Dad rang me back & I told him what was going on. He said for me to ring mum at work - but I asked him to do it as I thought (even though I was mostly OK) that if I spoke with her I might get upset - & at this point there really wasn't anything to be upset about. Needless to say once Dad spoke to her she rang me anyway - & I was fine.

All up I had an excellent monitor read out & 6 more blood pressure tests that came back completely normal. At one point we got moved to another room. And then we just spent the time waiting to get the results for another protein test & for the doctor to let us go.

We had organised to take Mum & Dad to dinner at 8pm at Cronulla - I rang the restaurant & changed the booking to 8.30. As it was getting closer to 7.30 we were deciding to cancel dinner altogether or not when the doctor came back & said the protein result was fine, took a blood test & let us go - so we still made dinner. I did try to take some photo's at dinner but it was too dark in the restaurant. It was a Brazilian BBQ spit roast place where they bring around 14 different types of roasted meats & some cheese & pineapple. And sorry Michael - I checked & it ain't halal. It's good though!

On Saturday we went heater shopping & also ended up with a new camera - we had one from the folks that took a good photo - but the battery life was terrible & it took AA batteries - so you had to always have a bag of batteries with you. Anyway I got advice from Louise & Adam & we got a canon ixus 130 & a Selphy photo bucket - so we can do immediate printouts without needing a full size printer.

The cats also got their cat door put in - so now we are trying to show them how to use it.

Jess, Adam & Xakk came for a BBQ dinner & we watched the TropFest short film DVD.

When they let us leave the hospital on Friday night they gave me an appointment at the Antenatal Assessment Unit for Monday at 11am. I already had an appointment for the endocrinologist at 10.30 anyway so now I'll just be there longer. I don't expect there to be any issues though.

Six

2010-04-13T09:53:00.015+10:00

Woohoo - only 6 more working days to go. I'm so looking forward to turning off that alarm. I know that soon I'll have an alarm that needs feeding & changing but at least I won't have to get dressed & leave the house for that one!

Since my last entry we've been pretty busy. I had a clinic visit on the 30/3 with a doctor. Mum came with me & got to hear the heartbeat again - very strong. I get teary every time I hear it. And just now typing this I got a big swell of excitement at meeting this baby soon - instead of dread at what's to come during labour. I'll just have to focus on the outcome more than the pain!

We've had 3 antenatal classes now & have 3 to go. I'm so glad we did them. And even though Darren was not sure about them in the beginning he now says he's glad too. We've both learnt a lot. Although now Darren is adamant that I not have the forceps or ventouse (vacuum) - like he's got a choice! And like I want to anyway!

We had our annual Easter camping trip, & as usual it rained, but it was bearable & no one suffered any leaking or issues.

Darren in his TARP NAZI pose... he is so funny - meddling with the tarp set up for 4 days only to take it all down again!

Isabella & Sandra, enjoying the sun, before it disappeared.

Tyson in his bike gear.

On Easter Monday Mum, Dad & Jaydan came down - so Mum & Jay could take over the site for 5 days. We then all went to see the Conellan's (cousins) who live close by. It was nice to catch up.

When we got home Darren & I spent the next day sorting out the linen press, getting rid of old stuff & sorting everything into matching sets & sizes. It looks much better now. And I've just realised I should have taken a before shot.

We also tackled Darren's side of the wardrobe - he tried everything on & got to know how it feels when things just don't fit anymore! And I managed to get rid of some of his daggy stuff.

On Thursday we went & saw the 3D Alice in Wonderland - I really liked it & Darren says he did too.

Then on Friday night we went to dinner at a Seafood place called BayBlu - we took Darren's parents as a thank you for the baby stuff they've been doing - & for future babysitting services. We had the seafood platter as you can see below - way too much food for my belly with way too much baby in it!

And this is how my fur kids spent most of the week - the temperature drops a few degrees & they act like it's the middle of a nuclear winter - funny things!

Away

2010-03-29T13:21:00.015+11:00

Here are a couple of shots from our weekend in the Blue Mountains. We had a great time & Lilianfels was absolutely beautiful. The weather was great & our room was spacious & comfortable. We went to the Norman Lindsay Gallery (I keep wanting to say "Harvey Norman Gallery") it was very busy as they were having a children's literacy festival which we didn't know about. We got a copy of the 9oth anniversary edition of The Magic Pudding - I love this book & now baby has a copy too.

Entry to Resort.

Darren at High Tea.

Magic Pudding Statue at the Gallery.

Indoor pool at the resort.

Lovely lounge area where high tea was held & a man played piano each night.

And here is the pram all put up & some photo's of the almost finished nursery.

After the baby shower we will sort out everything & label these baskets appropriately.

I still haven't got a cot mattress, but I do have some time before we'll need it - so no hurry.

I just noticed Pyewackett is in the shot, sneaky thing.

I should have stuck the branch up a little bit higher - so Pooh's bum isn't on the rail, but by the time I realised I didn't want to unstick all the pieces - so that's how it's staying!

That beautiful rocking chair is a lend from Cindy - it is so comfortable.

Not much elst to report, as usual I'm tired and I'm ready to stop peeing now - really!

This Thursday we head to Kiama for camping, & I'm still in 2 minds about how that's going to go - mostly it's the nightime peeing that will be an issue. Darren is truely about to learn exactley how many times a night I get up!!

Requested

2010-03-18T11:20:00.006+11:00

Here are some pic's just for Janna - so no one else look at them ok!

Pic 2 looks like I'm pushing my belly forward, cause my back looks bowed - I might have been - can't remember. I think it might be a balance thing, because I think I'm standing like this a lot. Either way I definitely can't pull my tummy in.
Pic 3 is my view looking down.

In other news & at the risk of this being Too Much Information for my millions of male readers - I've sprung a leak!! Well 2 leaks actually. Yep the colostrum is in full production & now I'm wearing those lovely round pads in my bra - the johnson & johnson ones are funny they even have a fake nipple shape on them! Also the cats know - I can't smell anything - but they obviously can - Pye bit my boob!! Not hard - but it was freaky.

Done

2010-03-08T12:47:00.011+11:00

Lots of things marked off the list this weekend & a few things added!

First of all Dad & Darren got the cat mesh put up on the balcony - so now the cats can be outside & we don't need to worry about them going over the railing. So no more "shut the door!" yelling. They were very interested in the installation as well - except when the drill was out!

Take note of the obligatory beer!

Last bit, - you can't see him but Supercat was hanging on the screen door watching very carefully.

Almost done.

We got out of this by doing DIY for around $100. When the catmax people came they quoted over $800!! Thanks heaps to Dad - for knowing what he's doing!

And we finally broke open the pram boxes that we've had since October -

Darren wanted me to be sure & label this photo with the comment that his head was actually itchy & this was not in any way a "thinking" pose!

I've just realised I never took an actual good all finished photo of the pram - will do so for next post.

On Sunday we also moved the furniture around in the nursery & our bedroom, I think it is how it will stay now - but who knows - I may change my mind again. I'll also put those photo's up next time.

Adding to our list - the mattress for the cot is too big (wide) so we took it back - but they don't seem to make the narrower size anywhere, so we'll have to get one custom made. I found a place at Sans Souci who'll do it for $179. We've just got to check if Ayisha's one will fit & if that doesn't I'll be ringing Sans Souci. And also the cat door needs to be put in.

And I know - there's no photo's of me on here - I tried to get some showing the baby belly - but to me it still just looks like I'm fat. I'll try again soon! Sorry Janna!

Growth

2010-03-05T09:07:00.004+11:00

I had my first Clinic visit at St George with a doctor instead of a midwife yesterday. All is well, & he was very happy with baby's growth & my lack of weight gain, but he did tell me that I would be induced either at week 38 or 39 as they do this with all the GD patients.

So according to their dates for me - which seem to fluctuate, I could be induced around these dates -

week 38 - 23rd of May
week 39 - 30 May

That also means my 6 weeks between finishing work & baby arriving could be as short as 4 weeks! I had been avoiding reading any info about inducement or cesareans, hoping I wouldn't need to - but I guess I better get informed now. Also I'm pretty much on fortnightly visits to the clinic from now on & at week 32 they'll send me for another ultrasound, to check growth. Guess I'll have to update my ticker once they give me an inducement date.

In other news - my Huey Lewis concert has been postponed - Goddammit! Apparently they have recording commitments & won't be able to tour at that time. So, so disappointed. We have 2 options, either we return our tickets now for a refund or we hang on to them because they will be valid for the new dates, & then when we get the new dates we can return them for a refund if we can't attend.
We've decided to hang on to the tickets & see what the new dates are. And we are still going to the Hunter Valley on the original weekend anyway as we've paid for the accommodation already & it is still our wedding anniversary. Sucks though.

Pooh!

2010-03-02T10:07:00.003+11:00

Soon it will look like the 100 Acre Woods has taken over my nursery!
Have a look at what Darren's mum got us!

It's not EVERYTHING in this picture - we got the washing hamper on the right, & everything on the cot (fitted sheet, top sheet, blanket, pillow case, quilt & padded bed head bit) except the valance along the bottom - after the baby shower I want to go & get the valance, the lamp & maybe the wall hangings, mat & mobile. You know me - I love a good matching set!

We also got another capsule for the car, initially we were just going to borrow Cindy's one - but after thinking about it for a while we realised that it would just be easier to have one for MIL's car & one for our car (mum already has one) - so we priced one online for our travel system & were going to pay $329 at Babies Galore - but when I got there on Sunday they had the exact same one for $230 - last one in the shop. So of course I got it. And a new mattress for the bassinet & an airwrap for the cot. We also got a mattress for the cot - but it's a little too wide - so this weekend we'll go & exchange that.

This weekend we'll also do the furniture re-arranging we didn't do last weekend - can't do anything if the V8's are racing!!

Sooner

2010-02-24T10:11:00.005+11:00

So in my last post I talked about them upping my insulin sooner rather than later - it was sooner - real soon - in fact it was that afternoon! And they've gone up twice more since then & will continue to do so as my hormone levels go up. My endo was happy with my weight though - I'm still just below my pre-pregnancy weight.

So now I'm injecting before breakfast, lunch & dinner & testing glucose levels 4 times a day - that's 7 needle pricks a day - I can't tell you how over it I am already! It's not stressing me like it was before but I still don't like it. My mantra has become "it's not forever"....

On a happier note for me - I've finalised all my maternity leave - that is unless I go extra early. So my last day at work will be the 23rd of April. I cannot wait. the struggle to get here every morning is not good & it's becoming quite rare for me to put in a 5 day week. Although that was pretty rare before I was pregnant too!

Today the weather is finally cooler - but over the weekend & on Monday it was very, very hot & I had another dose of 3 nights without sleep - which led to finding myself actually crying when my alarm went off on Tuesday morning & ringing Darren to tell him I could not go to work. Jess came & got me & dropped me at mum's so I could relax in the air con. Mum & Dad are in Malaysia so Darren & I actually stayed there last night & plan to tonight as well. I had my best nights sleep in ages - only 2 bathroom trips! I still feel tired today, but at least I'm not "cry tired" anymore! In fact Darren & I might just stay there until Saturday when the folks get home.

I've got my 3rd antenatal clinic visit on Friday afternoon, this is the first at St. George Hospital though. It's in the exact same place as the diabetic educator & the endo, so at least I know where to go. We also plan to do the maternity ward tour some time in the next few weeks. They run every Tuesday night.

Baby is moving around heaps & definitely knows EXACTLY where my bladder is! It's so odd to sometimes have a tummy that is rock hard on one side & all floppy, soft on the other! Jack/Sophie is also good at becoming completely still when Darren puts a hand near my belly, poor thing has only felt a couple of kicks because of this. Also I get a lot of movement in bed at night & though Darren's there - he is usually dead asleep (lucky guy!) so I don't wake him just to feel it (not when he has to get up at 4am).

This weekend we are going to move some furniture around - we want to fit the bassinet in our room beside the bed. So have to move the camphor wood chest out of there & into the baby's room. Which means re-arranging that room too. Also I might see if Darren's mum wants to get the mattresses for the cot & bassinet this weekend. And we still need to sew some extra length on the curtains covering the cupboard. So still a bit to do yet. When all that stuff is done I'll put up some more photos.

Nearly

2010-02-08T09:38:00.020+11:00

After a very busy weekend the nursery is almost completed. Thanks hugely to Ma & Pa.... apart from knowing (pretty much) what they are doing - Mum is a great motivator. Just do it now!!!

Measuring up for the often cursed stripes (thanks Louise!! )

More measuring & marking.

Dad putting up the trim - it has a pretty vine pattern carved in it.

Mum checking Dad's work!

I think this is more trim stuff.

Stripes all done.

Woohoo - an actual cot in my house - for my baby!

This room now has the cot, change table & bassinette in it & we are going to be getting a rocking chair from Cindy soon also. Last night before bed I caught Darren adjusting the change table position again - he said "I can't help myself". It's so nice to have it looking ready.

So we still need mattresses for the cot & bassinette - Darren's folks are getting these. And that is basically it for the big stuff. We contemplated getting out the pram also - but held off! barely...

In other news - I'm still only on one dose of insulin a day - but I've been told it will be going up - sooner rather than later. I'm feeling better about the whole thing, now that I've had time to process it & now that I realise that I can't control it on my own.

Beep

2010-02-02T09:58:00.003+11:00

I'm living by that sound "beep" at 8.30am, "beep"at 10.30am, "beep" every freakin' 2 hours of my waking life!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I'm going to have a small whinge - I'm starting to hate that beep & it's only been 12 days. Gestational Diabetes is the pits. Blah, blah - I know it's not forever, I know it's my own fault for being fat, I know that other people put up with heaps worse for their whole lives - but it's still shitty.
The food bit isn't worrying me, it's more the schedule that's bugging me. Eat now, test now, stick that insulin needle in now. BEEP!!!!

Right - moving on..... I have only gained 200grams since October 29th! This is amazing to me - cause nothing fits & I don't look like I've only gained 200grms. Just goes to show how much energy it takes to grow another human.

The movement factor has picked up heaps too. I feel a bunch of stuff during the day, but at night when I get in bed I spend heaps of time on the same page in my book because I don't want to move my hand away from the kicking to turn the page! I've said it before, but it's such a cool feeling. I'm getting real thuds & pushes, & sometimes it feels like there's a gymnastics display going on in there, I can picture the tiny mats & a pummel horse.

The other big event I'm looking forward to is my front row view at Huey Lewis, 1927 & Richard Clapton on the 20th March - so happy to have front row for this. Talk about a flash back. I've filled my iPhone with all their songs & have been trying not to sing out loud on the train (no-one needs to hear that!).
We booked accommodation here http://www.camwayestate.com.au/ - not extra fancy - but not a pub either! That weekend is also our 11th wedding anniversary & I'm calling it a babymoon too. Just a shame I can't indulge in the wineries all around the venue!

Mum has been working very hard in the nursery & I think it's about half way there, we still need curtains for the window & also for the cupboard - we'll do the sliding doors later. Also a little bit of finishing off painting before we can apply the Pooh wall stickers. Then we can do the exciting bits like putting in the cot, change table & rocking chair - I can't wait to see it all set up. And I still can't believe that I'm getting to do any of this at all!

Grainy

2010-01-20T08:54:00.006+11:00

So if you can make these out - you're a star!

The images I have are clearer & the DVD is really good - glad I payed the $15 for that.

Top Left is 2 feet, top right is upper limbs, bottom left is head profile - that little white bit almost in the centre of the screen is the nasal bone & bottom right is an upside down baby with a leg & foot at the top and an arm & hand in the middle - beats me!

These are from my 4th scan on the 15th of January - we spent ages while the technician checked all the anatomy markers - then had to go out & wait for the baby to change position so she could get a good reading on the heart. All is well. It is so cool to get to see our baby this way, Even if half the time we have no clue as to what we are looking at!

While the scan shows everything is normal - my glucose level test is telling a different story as far as I'm concerned. My levels are bad so I do have gestational diabetes. I'm not really surprised, it's not as if I've ever had normal levels, it's just a little more important at the moment to keep them under control. So I have to make an appointment with a diabetic educator & I guess I'll get given a diet to follow. I'm still waiting for them to call me back with an appointment time. All this means that I will definitely be having this baby at St.George Hospital.

Everything else is going along fine. Darren & I spent a lot of time last weekend sorting out the baby's room (oooohhh "the baby's room") it freaks me out being able to say that! Mainly clearing off the big bookcase - I can't believe how much crap I had managed to fit on that thing. Mum wants to paint in the next couple of weeks before Dad & her head to KL. So it needs to ready. Darren also very sadly packed away his V8 Supercar pictures & paraphernalia - stating that it was all coming back out again if we have a boy - I said "what if it's a boy who likes ballet?" he didn't quite know how to cope with that!

So that's it for the moment. I'll see the diabetes people & have my next clinic visit in a little over a month. And I guess once the room's painted we'll look at getting the curtains, cot etc organised. Less then half way to go now!! Woo Hoo.

Bleh!

2010-01-08T10:55:00.012+11:00

I'm back at work after a 10 day break - & what a boring week it has been. I'm stuck on a GIANT customer & the system takes for - ev - er to register. So I'm struggling to stay awake!

Catch up time....

I had my first Clinic visit at Sutherland Hospital on the 15th of December & as posted previously we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time - amazing. Every time we have a scan & this time hearing the heartbeat I feel a little more relaxed about everything being OK. Up until about a month ago I kept getting negative thoughts - just thinking that it was all too good to be true & that something would go wrong, those thoughts have really faded away now & I'm letting myself be excited about what's to come.

One other thing that came out of the clinic visit was the almost certainty that I would be going to St George Hospital & not Sutherland. Apparently my BMI is too high to deliver at Sutherland - this is an inconvenience - but not a huge issue. I'd rather be at the place with all the equipment if it's needed then having to be transferred if something goes wrong. I'll have my next clinic visit at Sutherland with the Dr & then the rest at St George - though I need to confirm this.

So now Darren is stressing about where to go & where to park for St George - we'll do a tour soon, so he can relax!

I went to see Wicked! the musical in October with 29 other people as a group. And then received an invitation for myself & a guest to go again for free! so Mum & I went on the 16/12 along with Jess & her Mum (who is visiting from Victoria) It is such a great show - I thought I might be bored but it was just as enjoyable the 2nd time around. And as a bonus for me, having already seen it, I didn't miss much when I went to the bathroom seventybillion times in the first half! Poor man with the torch got sick of me I'm sure.

We had our annual Xmas drinks at Mum's on the 19th, this is always fun, & often the only time in 12 months that we see some of our friends & family - it's such a pain how day-to-day living gets in the way of socialising!

THEN...................

My brother & family surprised us by showing up from Malaysia for Xmas!! Best surprise ever - even if they did put their kid in a box!

So we were all together for Mum's birthday picnic & for Xmas day - loved it! My niece is the cutest thing ever - just check this out....how cute is this kid - poor thing I couldn't stop kissing those cheeks (Ayisha's not Michael's!)

They left us on NYE - but will hopefully be back for good in June. Just in time to introduce the cousins.

Christmas Day was massive, more than 20 for breakfast & a few less for lunch, lots of fun & great food enjoyed by all. And all the more fun because of the little ones. Darren & I are still in shock about having a 6 month old by next Xmas. We usually stay at my folks for breakfast & lunch then go to Darren's folks for a light dinner. But we've decided that Xmas 2010 we'll have his folks come to us in the late afternoon (if they are in town) that way we can take what is sure to be a tired baby (& Mummy) (ohh - that's weird) home to relax! I can't wait.

My other days off have turned into kind of a blur - we slept in late, watched dvd's, went to see New Moon with Yan, hung out with the family & spent NYE at a local club. I went shopping for more gigantic undies & some new maternity bra's. I won't even go into details here about the weird things my boobs are doing!

AND - I've got heaps of inside baby movement happening. Especially when I sit forward at my desk - obviously the baby doesn't want to be here either! - I just wish Darren could feel it on the outside - I guess that could take a while though - you know - because of my petite size! ha ha.

AND - I realised that I was a week behind in my calendar - I do not know how this happened, you would think someone as obsessive as myself would have been on top of this! So I've adjusted one ticker, removed one & added another one!

I promise not to wait so long before posting again - & next post should have an updated scan attached - so excited about my next appointment on the 15th.

Heart

2009-12-16T10:15:00.002+11:00

The heart is an amazing thing, it's been on my mind a lot lately, not only because of heartburn.

A part of your body as normal as your elbow, yet it feels emotion. It breaks when you lose a loved one, it swells with happiness with good news & I can feel mine growing everyday with this baby. Sometimes if I think about it too much my heart feels like it will burst from my chest with the joy & love that it's trying to contain. And the thought that there are 2 hearts beating in my one body is sometimes just a little bit weird! Not to mention the extra head I'm growing.

(that's 2 heartbeats including my own - NOT twins!)

Yesterday we heard Sophie/Jacks heartbeat, & once again I was in tears. I just can't believe it.

Benedict

2009-12-03T09:56:00.003+11:00

We had a fairly busy weekend, my friend Dee the clairvoyant came up on Friday from down the coast & we had a lovely dinner at the local chinese with mum, dad, Jess, Adam, Xakk and us. It was a very enjoyable meal.

Saturday Dee did 4 readings, while I entertained those waiting. Then we drove Dee home & called in to Denise & Beth's. We weren't going to stay long but we were having such a nice time that we stayed for dinner & didn't get home until almost midnight. It was great just hanging out on the couch, talking & laughing.
The girls wanted to do the wedding ring over my belly thing to see what sex the baby is. So they googled the rules & all had a turn. The ring didn't move for a couple but for 2 it went in a definite circle so apparently I'm having a girl - I won't be rushing out to buy pink stuff yet though!

Sunday Darren & I went to Miranda to get some clothes for me. First we had breakfast in one of the Cafes there. I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I got teary over breakfast! It was Darren's fault though - I love eggs benedict, it is my favourite cafe breakfast item. But at the moment I can't have it - what with the runny egg, ham & possibly unwashed spinach. So we are sitting in the cafe & Darren says that he is going to order eggs benedict! I really thought he was joking, but he wasn't! I said "how could you, how could you order my favourite food & eat it in front of me?" he just looked at me, & watched me start tearing up. I then said "if you do this I will write about it" so he backed down & had the sausage with eggs - I almost felt guilty - but I didn't.

I got 3 new dresses - really comfy ones with just elastic around the top & then flowing out - (like the black & white ones we got the same - Janna) a little shrug top some new knickers (cause mine are getting too tight & uncomfy & a body pillow. But I cannot shop like I used to - I think Darren was very happy about that.

We went to Mum & Dad's for dinner & so I could watch some Amazing Race that my dvr failed to record. Then headed home early for bed.

Scan 3

2009-11-23T10:54:00.006+11:00

So I'm not an expert at getting images into this blog - but here is the best I can do....

I know - looks like Pinocchio right!

Fortunately that is fingers beside the babies head - not a proboscis!
If you're having trouble deciphering - this is a left side-on view, head at the top. The fingers that are lined up with the nose belong to the hand & arm that were waving around on the babies right hand side.
I've got 4 pictures & this is the best one.

This was the scan that checks for Down Syndrome & some other chromosomal stuff - we passed with flying colours, thank God. Everything looks good & we are still measuring for the early June due date. It is so weird to look at the screen & see something moving around but not being able to feel it inside you. It still seems crazy to me that this is even happening, I feel so lucky.

I've been feeling mostly good. Lots less nausea, although the heat this last weekend knocked me around a bit, on Sunday I ended up just sitting in the bottom of the shower, letting the water run, I was trying to wash my hair but got a bit faint, so just sat down. The cats found it amusing. Sunday night was very hot, until around 12.30 when the cool change came through, I didn't get much sleep though.

We went out Friday night for Louise's birthday to Caringbah Inn. We had a nice dinner & got to catch up a bit with that crowd, but we didn't stay late as Darren had work. I would have stayed & bludged a lift with someone, but I was too tired.
Saturday night we went to a fund raiser, which I didn't know until I got there was actually for a girl I went to school with. We went because the band "Hip Replacement" had my uncles brother in law in it. They were really good, playing lots of oldies. The dance floor was packed the whole time.

Sunday was spent trying to stay cool. The cats love this weather, the bathroom gets really, really hot, in fact we call it the sauna, they get in there on the towel rails & just stretch out in the heat, they can barely open their eyes to look at you when you go in there. Every now & then they run out & lie on the lounge room floor in front of the fan - but not for long.

So scan 4 at around 20 weeks will be done sometime from the 11th of January & I have my first visit to the ante-natal clinic on the 15th of December, & I think there's a doctors visit in there somewhere as well.

Blood

2009-11-17T09:59:00.002+11:00

I have chosen my preferred blood taker & I will no longer go to anyone else!

I had to have blood taken this week to be used in conjunction with the nuchal translucency scan on Friday to determine our probability of any chromosomal abnormalities. I decided to go to pathology at Kareena as they will take blood up til 10.30 at night & this way I could do it out of work hours.

So Darren picked me up after he finished work & we went down there, no-one else was waiting so it didn't take long to get in, but the woman was hopeless, she stabbed me 4 times & got nothing, I've bled more cutting up carrots! She then said that she wouldn't try any more & that I would have to go to Sutherland in the morning & get them to do it. She also said that they opened at 7.30, so I thought at least I won't be too late for work.

Anyway, this morning Dad picks me up & makes sure I get to the place by 7.30, he drops me off & leaves, I go in & there's a lovely sign saying that they don't open til 8 - argh! Then I try to use my mobile & it won't ring out - & it wasn't a reception issue. So I end up accosting some guy for his mobile phone so I can ring my boss & tell her I'll be late.

Thankfully the chick at Sutho is great, & the only reason I didn't just go to her first was because of the work thing - but next time I'm just going straight to her, she takes one jab & gets everything she needs. I was on the train in no time & only ended up being 1/2 an hour late.

Scan 2

2009-11-10T09:08:00.002+11:00

All my blood work & the second scan we had came back fine. Actually my blood work showed that my sugar levels are the best they have ever been. My doctor thought that this baby would make things worse. Seems that it's making things better! At least for now. Let's just hope that the 20 week results come back just as good.

Otherwise things are mostly the same. I'm tired & a bit moody, I had my first meltdown - after a bad day at work, I got home to find Darren had made a bath for me & my favourite magazine had arrived, so I lay in that bath for a good hour just relaxing & it was great till I got out & spewed. Ruining the whole relaxed feeling! Then I had a cry. Darren just cuddled me & said "I think you should have an early night!". I know I've said it before, but he has just been great. I keep telling him that too.

I spent last weekend making cards for the nursing home with mum, & plan this weekend to make some more to sell at work. I hope I get around to it, I might be too busy laying on the lounge, ooh I might finally get around to watching season 3 of Dexter that I got for my birthday. Either way I won't be doing much.

Update

2009-10-28T12:58:00.002+11:00

So I'm trying to change my countdown ticker over there on the left, after our 2 ultrasounds we now have a new due date 06/06/2010. So that ticker should say 8 weeks & 3 days - I'll get there eventually.

Not too much to report. Had a fairly quiet weekend, topped off by a fantastic baked dinner featuring both beef & lamb on Sunday night. Totally fudged my cooking method & everything turned out great.

Monday morning I walked in the torrential rain to fill 8 vials with my blood. Then hung out on the couch waiting till 1pm when I had to drink my litre of water. By the time Darren came to get me at 3.30 I was busting! Thank God they didn't make me wait too long to go in. Scared myself for a second by confusing my bladder with my uterus - then focused on the little heart beat again. All still looks good.

Got a doctors appointment Thursday to talk about shared care etc & she will also have all the blood test results back. Then we've got Wicked on Friday night - I hope it's good.

Scare

2009-10-23T13:13:00.003+11:00

I think I can only write about this because we had a happy outcome. But on Tuesday night I had a significant amount of bleeding, enough to totally freak me out, and make me think the worse.

It was just after 7, Darren was working late so I rang him to see if he was on his way home, he was close by so I said "don't put the car away - something is wrong" he came in & got me & we went to Kareena hospital after hours.

The whole time we waited I was just a mess. Darren was very good, just holding my hand.
We finally went in & the Dr was a complete git. Not one bit of empathy, I understand that these things happen, but in the middle of what you think is the worst time of your life, to be told to have a glass of wine & watch "rafters" - that'll cheer you up - was NOT appropriate. I just shut down at that point.

He gave me a form to get an ultrasound in the morning. We went home & I tried to ring Mum & Dad, but when Dad answered I just couldn't talk - Darren took the phone & explained, they offered to come over, but I said no. If it was bad, it was bad & them being there wouldn't make a difference.

Needless to say there was not much sleeping done Tuesday night. In the morning I rang Sutherland to get the ultrasound & the woman says "we've got nothing til next Wednesday" I explained that it was urgent, I was about 8 weeks & had, had bleeding and needed to check, & I'm crying at this point - she just repeats "we've got nothing til next Wednesday" - I hung up.
I rang Miranda & the lovely lady there heard how upset I was & said though they had no spaces she would get me in - & to start drinking the water & come there at 9.30.

Mum picked me up & we only had to wait about 10 minutes before I went in. The longest 10 minutes of my life. I told the lady that I'd had some bleeding & why I was there. She took about 20 seconds to turn the screen & show me the heart beat - flickering away like crazy - I just burst into tears. I don't think I have ever felt so relieved in my life. She then said she would do an internal for a better view. So I got to go pee & then I got mum to come in.

The baby measured at about 1.4cm & the heartbeat was about 173 beat a minute. We couldn't really tell head from bum, but it all looked good and in the right position. I'm in love with a little tiny flickering blob!

As soon as we got out I rang Darren & mum rang dad. Then we went to eat!

We are still having our booked in scan on Monday - so Darren can fall in love too!

So we've that out of our system now, ok baby - no more scary stuff!!

Eight

2009-10-19T19:38:00.002+11:00

As you can see by my ticker we are currently at week eight.
And I am feeling it.
I am feeling the sore boobs, the constant nausea, the tiredness & the crabbiness. And I'm sure Darren is feeling it too!
I keep reminding myself that I wanted this, that I prayed for this, that I wished for this, over & over again throughout the last 10 years. But man I hate the vomiting!

Work is also sucking right now. The new system is not great - I'm sure it will be eventually, but I really can't understand how they can launch it when we can't use it. Not only was our training woeful, but the system is so plagued with errors that even when we know what to do - the system won't do it. I was getting very stressed about this & actually found myself in tears at home, than Darren snapped me out of it. I can't fix it so I need to not let it bother me. So I totally swung the other way & just totally ignored it for a week. Today I made a little headway into understand some of the processes but the errors stuff it up, so I'll just keep plodding along - at least everyone is in the same boat.

On Saturday morning we went to LOOK at prams - so of course we brought one! (I did make them write on the receipt that we could have a full refund if required though!) We got a Steelcraft Strider DLX - it is a travel system but we didn't buy the capsule bit - cause baby will probably only use it for 6 months & we'd need another seat anyway. We did get the bassinet & the stroller bit though. You should have seen Darren kicking the tires & checking the welds! He was amazed by Babies Galore & kept saying "what's that?" "what does that do?" "Do we need one of them?" - they are having a massive sale this weekend - so we may go back & get a car seat.

We have our first scan a week from today (26th) so fingers crossed that all is well & this little one sticks to the end.

HOW?

2009-10-07T10:17:00.002+11:00

How do I get pregnant? - not technically obviously - but how?
After 10 years of all sorts of up & downs & meds & natural stuff & doing nothing & going back on the pill & giving up & applying to be foster carers - How does this happen!!!

We are currently sitting at 6 weeks & 2 days pregnant - & I still don't know how. I'm happy, worried, excited, scared, obsessing, stressing & in dream land all at once. I'm constantly repeating the same little mantra in my head all day "easy pregnancy, healthy baby" it's all I can think about.

I'm more teary than usual, can't watch the news. I'm extra gaggy (if that's a word) I'm bad enough normally. I'm tired, so, so tired. I'm so, so bloated!

Darren is great, so proud of himself & so excited. He is looking after me so well. This will be a massive learning curve for him. Last night he said "so the baby needs what, 3 or 4 grow suits?" I just shook my head - he has no idea. He is asking about camping next Easter - I'll be around 7 & 1/2 months then - I suggested we waited a little longer before we worry about the logistics of getting my fat arse up onto that camping trailer bed - we may need some kind of pulley system. He sometimes doesn't realise when I'm joking.

So now we wait. We have a 9 week scan on the 26th of October to determine how many babies & to make sure it's where it should be. Then the normal 12 week scan. So fingers crossed people!

Quick!!!

2009-09-25T08:39:00.001+10:00

So, so busy - the new systems training is killing me!
NO time to update properly here.
Give me another week & I'll provide a full update.

Weekend

2009-09-15T10:00:00.004+10:00

We had a packed weekend, mostly spent in lovely surrounds.

Darren picked me up from work on Friday & we went & checked into The Swissotel on Market St. From the minute we walked in the door we felt like everyone was there just for us. The concierge took our bags & directed us up to level 8 for check-in. The staff at check-in were friendly & informative. We went up to our room on the 22nd floor, & as I put the key in the door I said to Darren "I'm expecting this room to be great" & it was. Lots of space, a king size bed & a gorgeous bathroom. Our bags arrived & the guy gave us a walk through of the room, telling us how everything worked - even the complimentary cappuccino machine!

We went & checked out the pool area so we could decide whether we would have a drink by the pool, in our room or at the bar. There were other people hanging around "our" pool. So we opted to have a drink in the Lobby Bar. It was there that I discovered my new favourite drink - a Toffee Apple. So, so good. I had 2 & was very close to drunk! We wandered back upstairs to get ready for dinner. I had a lovely bath, & got dolled up.

The Restaurant specialises in fondue - 3 types. We chose to not have the fondue as our main because Jess & Adam were coming to check in the next day & we thought it would be more fun to have it with them. So we both ordered steak & it was cooked to perfection. We then had a chocolate fondue for desert - very yummy. Then we headed upstairs to enjoy our room.

Next morning we had a great buffet breakfast, including made to order omelette's, waffles & rosti. We then walked to the QVB building to see if the Pandora shop was open, so Darren could get me some more Pandora charms for my birthday. It was open, I chose 2 new charms, one is a purple murano glass & the other is silver with amethysts in it. After the QVB we walked towards Darling Harbour, our booking at the hotel came with a double pass to the Aquarium or the Wildlife World. As Darren had never been to the Aquarium we chose that. It was ok, we saw the shark feeding - more sedate then I expected, & the dugongs were pretty cute also.

For lunch we headed to The James Squires Brewhouse on King St Wharf. This place is huge, way bigger then I expected. As the weather was really warming up & we knew we would be here for a while we chose to sit inside at a booth with comfy seats. I started with ice-water & Darren ordered a Highwayman brew. We just sat & relaxed, talking a bit about our course the next day & what might happen there. After about an hour Jess & Adam arrived & we ordered our lunch. Darren & I went small as we'd had that huge breakfast & knew we would be having an early dinner.

After lunch we headed back towards the hotel so Jess & Adam could check-in. Darren & I went into Myer for a bit. Then we all met up back at the hotel. Darren & Adam watched the V8's while Jess & I hung out in her room. We then got ready for dinner & went for a cocktail in the bar downstairs - I introduced Jess to the toffee apple & she like it too.

For dinner we all ordered the Fondue Chinoise, which consists of 2 different broths, one chicken based & one beef based, though not strongly tasting of these, being placed on the table in the traditional looking fondue set up. The idea was that you went to the buffet & selected from a range of raw meat & seafood that has been thinly sliced. There was also a large variety of dipping sauces, & a very large salad bar. You threaded your meat onto the skewers provided then used the broth to cook it. It was fun & something different & Darren ate his weight in prawns! Jess & Adam had the chocolate fondue for desert & Darren & I shared a banana cheesecake.

We all had tickets for Avenue Q - http://www.avenueqthemusical.com.au/ - so we headed to the Theatre Royal - at a fast walk - as we were running late! We made it in time & settled in to watch the funniest most inappropriate puppet show that I have ever seen. This is a great show, but definitely not for anyone who is easily offended & definitely not for kids!

When the show was over we went back to the hotel & stopped in the bar for another drink, we discussed if we were going to have breakfast together or not, as Darren & I would be leaving the hotel by 8am to get to the 8.50am start for our course & the others didn't have to leave until 11am. We decided if they were up they would join us but if not they wouldn't. They didn't - but a very groggy looking Jess wrapped in a towel knocked on our door at 7.15am & handed me an Eeyore pen for my birthday! Funny.

We got the car after breakfast & headed to Strawberry Hills for our course. We were both a bit nervous about what to expect. There are 26 people in the group - more than I expected, & it gets heavy straight away. I guess you know that these kids aren't in lovely homes & that is why they come into care, but I guess most people don't realise how bad the situation can be.

We had a full day, with a couple of breaks for the nice food that is supplied. We covered lots of stuff including confidentiality, which is a major thing. Darren did great - he stayed awake & participated well! I was a little worried I'd catch him napping - as he is doing long hours at work & when he's just sitting he usually goes to sleep! We have 2 more Sundays & then about 6 more assessments at our home. Our contact has told us that those assessments may not take place until next year.

We finished up at about 5.15pm & went straight to Loftus for my Birthday dinner. I did get the 2 pies as requested so that was yummy. I also got Dexter season 3 & some pj's. The night finished early as we had to get home & check the cats. They were happy to see us. But I was not happy to see their vomit.

Aftermath

2009-09-11T10:15:00.002+10:00

So to report on the DOCS visit. It was interesting. Lots of questions & information, leaving us with more things to think about.

The only answer we gave that was received with a small amount of negativity was that I would, after 4 or 5 months, have to go back to work for 3 days a week. Apparently they really don't like you to work more then 2 days, or for the child to be away from a parent for more than 2 days. But, I know that this won't be a major issue. Honestly if they knock us back for this reason alone, that would be crazy. I think they have to state what they see as the ideal situation & then they'll work with you to get as close to that as possible. Obviously I would love not to have to go back to work, but we have to be practical & do stuff like PAY THE MORTGAGE!

It was a 2 hour visit. We covered topics such as our infertility & how we have dealt with that (counselling), what age child we would like (under 2), whether we would do a short term placement (no), whether we would take siblings (maybe), whether we would take a special needs child (no), what we would do if the child was OK when it came to us but had issues in the future (deal with it as it comes, educate ourselves - would not send child back) and questions about the people in our lives.

We asked about medical records & medical care, travel, visitation with natural parents & siblings, the training course & a bunch of other stuff that came up.

She did a basic check of our place, seeing if there were any obvious dangers. The only thing we need to do - which we are anyway - is get some cupboard doors for the 2nd bedroom. The other thing we want to do is put some catmax catmesh up on our balcony so Supercat & Pyewackett can go outside without supervision, also the cat litter can go out there too.

The other thing we spoke about was how the process is very long, as I said previously I expected things to slow down. She thinks that after the course ends (27/09) that we could be waiting until next year for the next step of assessment to start. They are very understaffed. So we'll just wait.

Tonight we check into The Swissotel for our 2 night stay. I can't wait. Fondue for dinner tonight, buffet breakfasts, a visit to the Pandora shop & Avenue Q tickets for Saturday night, all leading up to day 1 of our course on Sunday.

Also I requested Hostage in a Pie & a Lemon Meringue birthday cake for Sunday night - I hope mum heard me!

Wednesday

2009-09-06T10:33:00.003+10:00

So the chick from DOCS rings me on Friday - "can I come & see you guys on Wednesday" !!! Man, we have gone from nothing really happening to full speed ahead! although I do expect it to slow down again. Though it may not - confused? - me too.

So D & I are trying to work out our finances - because we will lose money while we do this. We don't care - but we do need to be sensible or at least try to be - & have some kind plan in place.

We are alternating between excitement & keeping calm, we want to plan for things but really can't until we know the age of the child. Even though we are requesting as young as possible, we don't know whether that will mean a little baby or a toddler who may already be used to sleeping in a big bed. I went to a linen party last week & couldn't even look at buying anything for the kid - one - I don't know cot or bed & - two - we are still being accessed & could possibly not get a placement at all. Although I think this would be highly unlikely.

So I cracked & made one purchase relating to this adventure. An over the car seat thingy. It goes onto the back of a front car seat & has lots of pockets to hold stuff in front of the child, while they are in the back seat. It wasn't boy or girl specific & I figure if things don't work out - I can use it as a christmas gift.

Rescheduled

2009-09-01T16:11:00.002+10:00

They moved the training. This is kind of OK & kind of a bummer.

The problem is that it now starts on the 13th of September. So instead of a lovely sleep in & leisurely buffet breakfast at our hotel - we are now getting up early & heading to the training place. Pluses are that by staying at the hotel we will actually be closer to the training location then we would have been if we stayed at home, and of course the quicker we do the training - hopefully the quicker we'll have a placement.

And I don't really feel like I'm allowed to whinge about it being bought forward - except that this day is also the day that Michael & Yan take Ayisha from me! Ha ha. So our plan to see them before they head to the airport will now not happen. Saves me from having a teary farewell I guess.

News!

2009-08-26T09:31:00.002+10:00

First things first - DOCS finally did our referee checks on the 17th & 18th of August, after telling me they were doing them on the 24th of July. Then I received an email on the 21st telling me about the dates for our training course - YEAH!!!! Even though those dates are in November, at least it's progress.

How do I feel about this? It's a funny thing, I went from being a little bit anxious & eager for them to hurry up & get the referee checks done, to feeling quite nervous now that things are really, really happening. Darren just wants it all to be done & for us to have a child with us.
We were lying in bed talking about our yearly camping trip & he was saying where will the kid sleep? and that we'll need to take a microwave to heat bottles & what about the extra room needed in the car (we pack it like a tetris game now!) And I just had to tell him to put it all out of his head & worry about it later! Otherwise like me - he'll never get any sleep!

I want to start planning - God knows I love a plan & a good list. But - it just feels too early. I'm having a hard enough time trying to make a bedroom out of a store/craft/game playing room as it is. I thought I had got rid of a lot of stuff out of that room, but really it's not enough. I don't want it to feel like we are just shoving the child in anywhere - it has to feel like a real space for them. Also we had a big BBQ on Saturday night & little Abbey was over (she has just turned one) she spent the whole time showing me exactly how to child proof my place! All the stuff we moved out of her way will now need to find a new home. She was very helpful!!

I've had a couple more orders for cards from the nursing home & will have to spend this weekend filling an order for 20. My aim is to try & do double that & then a few more as often as possible to try & build up a bit of a stockpile - that way I don't have to stay up til 1 in the morning trying to get them done on time. Also I want to take some to work & see if there is any interest there.

My birthday is coming up - always exciting. We are booked to see Avenue Q on the 12th so I have booked a room at the Swissotel in the city for the Friday & Saturday night. Darren & I will have a bit of alone time (I'll be dragging him to the Pandora store!) & then Jess & Adam will join us on Saturday night for the show. I'm also hoping to see Yan, Michael & Ayisha before they fly out on the Sunday, but this might be too sad!

Noooooooooo!

2009-08-10T10:03:00.005+10:00

So what's been going on?
Let me see - I'll just go back into my calendar & see if I can fill in the gaps.

Friday the 24th of July I had my big work dinner reward thingy in the city at WatersEdge not the Waterfront as I previously called it. We had a really good night - probably because I was half way smashed when we arrived. So there was much frivolity & dancing & catching up with staff from regional offices that I either have never met face to face or that I haven't seen in ages.
The accommodation at the Sebel Pier One was not as fancy as I had expected though. They rely very heavily on the fantastic views available & seem to have let the decor slip. Star City Casino has nicer rooms.

We went from the Sebel to Miranda to purchase a Pandora bracelet & charm for Abbey Rose my Goddaughter/niece. Then home to put our new drawers in our room. This meant a bit of furniture movement & then me putting all my undies/bras/socks/pj's/ etc into the new drawers & rearranging the items that I keep on top, jewelry box, alarm clock etc. Darren has decreed that nothing else is allowed to be kept on top of the drawers - he is dreaming.

After organising our room we went to Louise & Andrews for dinner. We wanted to get together with them & talk a bit about the fostering process. I had initially thought that this would mainly benefit Darren, being able to talk to Andrew - but turns out it was important for both of us.
The topic of siblings came up again. And once again Darren has back flipped on this, only this time he managed to explain to me in a different way why he didn't want to take on two children at once. Knowing now how he really feels about this, I am happy to tell DOCS that we will only take one child initially, and later would consider another. This doesn't mean that I wasn't upset about it, but I'm mainly upset about the way Darren went about this, not the one child bit. So I had a bit of an emotional evening. But we came away from it clearer in our views & ideas & with a few topics to follow up on ourselves.
Darren's major worry - I think has been relieved a bit now, & that is that he will say something in our interviews that will cause DOCS to deny us a placement. And then it would be all his fault & I would hold it against him etc, while he is still nervous about the interviews I don't think he is as worried about this now.

On the 26th we had planned a lazy day at home, but Michael rang & asked us to their place for lunch, he had something to tell us. I immediately knew this would involve them going to KL in September & NOT coming back. And I was right. I was not happy, but I was right. Mum is also not happy. It's not that we are possesive of them at all - we just want to keep them here with us! Thus the title of this post.
So the 13th of September is when they leave - Happy Birthday to me.

How can the steal this from me????

Did out tax returns on the Monday night - getting back nearly $3000 - which will go straight on the credit card of doom. This will bring it almost to zero balance & therefore closer to the scissors.

On Saturday the 1st I made a big roast beef dinner & the folks & Jess came over to eat it.

On the Sunday we had Jaydan & Abbey's naming day & Abbey's first birthday celebration at Adam & Amber's place - it was a really lovely day. The weather was perfect & Abbey was gorgeous in the christening gown that was used by all of us. After that Darren & I went to catch up with an old friend.

I spent the next week trying to flog linen at work, to get some outside orders for my linen party on the 9th, I got a couple of orders, but nothing like I have done in the past.

Friday after work Darren met me at Kmart at Hurstville so I could get some add-on drawers that sit on top of the plastic drawers that I already have for all my scrapbooking/card making stuff.
Then we went & got ready for Jess's "come as what you wanted to be when you grew up" cocktail party. I wore a tiara & Darren donned a lot of FORD racing gear. Michael showed up in a sock stuffed wetsuit & Yan had a Miss Universe sash on - I think they would have won best costume if there had been a prize. I didn't drink this year - but almost everyone else did. I just played steal the baby off Grandma.

Saturday I started ripping apart the 2nd room. My goal is to clear shelf & cupboard space, cull if I can, and have the room ready for either a bed or a cot.
I managed to get my craft drawers into the cupboard getting rid of 2 big tubs in the process. I got rid of 2 boxes of books, an over door clothes rack, one bag of clothes, a box of miscalleneous junk, a stack of board games and one of my tool boxes. A bunch of this stuff went to Jess and the rest we took to the Salvos - I just hope Mum doesn't buy back the clothes I took there & give them back to me!
So the room is still a complete mess - but it's getting there. Once I've found a home for everything I want to see how much it is to get sliding doors on the cupboard, or if that's too much I'll be getting some dow & making some curtains up.

We finally got to see Cindy & George on Saturday night, but we were all pretty quite & Cindy was not well at all. We need to make more of an effort to see each other - I felt bad that Isabella had forgotten who I was. She always knew me & would give me a big smile but on Saturday night she took a while to warm to me. We need to remedy that!! Especially if Ayisha is being stolen from me!

Sunday I held my linen party. I ended up selling around $1000 worth so I got about $500 worth of stuff that I wanted for about $200 - so I was happy with that.

And that concludes my catch-up. I am still going to challenge myself to a blog a day, but I can't decide when to start!

Hi!

2009-07-21T10:02:00.002+10:00

Well I almost went a month without an entry - very, very lazy I know. But very easy to do. I just kept looking at my laptop & going "nup".
I still really don't feel like making an entry but I guess the guilt got to me. Not sure if I like being made to feel bad for not blogging, it comes under all those things that I start, then stop and then feel bad about stopping. I've actually been playing with a challenge for myself to blog every day for a month. I keep pushing back the start date on that though!

So I went back to work last week after my 2 weeks off. I hate work. It just pisses me off. The only good thing about going back was finding out that I had missed out on the YP training. This would have been the 5th time I had done that training. They like to put us in training when there isn't much work. But they always time it so that when you get out of training WP picks up so much that you don't do YP for ever & by then you need training again. Thank God I missed it.

This Friday night we are having our big Shine dinner (reward program at work). I'm going though I won't be receiving anything. It is being held at Waterfront on the harbour. The Sebel Pier One is above it, so Darren & I have booked a room. We got a fantastic deal which includes a waterfront room & breakfast for 2 for only $219. The breakfast alone is $60 a head (massively overpriced) but because it's included we are happy with that. A couple of other people from work are staying too.

We started to do a spring clean in our bedroom last Saturday. I started before Darren got home from work. We had had a bit of rain get in & I moved a box to find mooouuullddd!!!!!! AGHHHHH. I hate mould. So I chucked the box & emptied all the drawers in the tall boy so I could move it to clean the wall. When I moved the tall boy I then discovered the back of it was also covered in mould. I could clean the wall but I could not get the mould off the back of the drawers. So I stopped & waited till Darren got home. I told him we had to get new drawers. I could not fathom keeping those drawers at all - let alone having them in our room. So we headed to the Salvos & Vinnies - hoping for a 2nd hand bargain. But of course they had nothing, so we went to the Supacentre & checked out 5 or 6 places in there. My God drawers are expensive. We ended up spending $460 for a 9 drawer unit. Our original one was 6 drawers & about my head height. This new one is low line, about my waist height, & I think the drawers are smaller - but I have 3 extra ones so we should be right. And it will not be being placed under the window either! Darren will pick it up on Friday before he comes into the city. Delivery would have added another $55! Rip off.

We've had no news on the DOCS front. As far as I know the next thing will be them talking to our references, & that hasn't happened yet. This weekend I want to start going through what will be the kids room - we need to make it a usable space, & I need to stop using it as a store room for whatever I don't want to look at.

In other news - Amazing Race starts again this week. I spent an hour nursing Ayisha. Darren lost his voice for about 4 days. Supercat spewed in my slippers. I haven't weighed myself for 3 weeks. We need to catch up with the Morphis family. I need to make some more cards. I need to finish typing my grandads notes. I need to finish about 3 cross stitch projects. I need another me.

Back soon - maybe.

7.7

2009-06-30T13:20:00.003+10:00

Yes I'm back. I apologise for the slackness. Basically I had nothing interesting to talk about really. Then I've been sick again with no inclination to sign on.

In weighing myself yesterday found out I've lost 7.7 kilos since the beginning of May. I'm happy with that. I really want to see my number go below 100 though.

Massive event occured at 12.03 pm Monday 29th June - Ayisha Clare Laidler made her way into the world. Michael & Sharizan's little one. I went to see her last night - though didn't hold her & tried not to breathe near her - I'm still a bit sick (couldn't stay away though) as I'm headed to Tasmania tomorrow & wouldn't have seen her until she was over a week old - I couldn't do that! She is very petite & has her mama's nose. She is cute as a button & I can't wait to get my hands on her. Little Miss Abbey, Ayisha's cousin who is almost a year old really wanted to touch her - it was funny watching her trying to get her hands on Ayisha.

So I've been feeling pretty disgusting since last Friday, started wheezing at lunchtime & had a full blown fever by that night. Mum dragged me out to a card making thing at Cindy's at which I was miserable. She bought me home 2 hours later just in time for the vomiting to start. So that was great. I've been living on the couch & fighting over the doona with the cats. The most I can stomach is an orange. I can't believe I'm getting on a plane for an even colder climate tomorrow night. I don't usually go to the doctor for colds (unless I need the note for work) & as Friday was my last day at work for 2 weeks (yes that's the 2nd time this year I've been sick in my holidays!) I haven't been to the doctor but unless I have a miraculous overnight recovery I will be going tomorrow. I think I need a puffer of some sort for the chestiness. Mum is not impressed that I'm going away with her sick. I'm not either. I've somehow got to work up the energy to pack. Not to mention shave my legs!

So that's it guys - not much to tell except for Ayisha's arrival. I'll be sure to post when I get back from Tassie - after the 7th.

Stuff

2009-06-10T17:48:00.002+10:00

The floors are done - they look amazing & I'm so happy with them. It has made the space look bigger, even with all the furniture back where it was before. Pyewackett christened them on the first night - it is so much easier to clean cat puke off a hard floor!

The cats were locked in the bathroom during the installation & when we opened the door Supercat just sauntered out like normal, but Pyewackett did not want to step off the tiles onto the wood. She just kept pacing the doorway until I called her to me, she soon got used to it. But they have both had to learn the hard way that they have no braking power on this smooth floor. Supercat spent a good hour head-butting walls while trying to stop. Most entertaining thing I have seen for a long time.

Saturday night we went to the Smithson's for a catch-up, we nearly didn't go because we were pretty tired, but after some tough love from Louise we got off our arses & went. Both of us were glad we did. We had a very relaxed, enjoyable night just chatting & laughing & drinking - a lot! We were also glad it was a long weekend so we had an extra day to recover.

We go to a local club on Thursday nights for raffles & trivia, once a month they have a $400 draw for a voucher. I was lucky enough to win the last one, so on Sunday we headed to Kmart to spend it. We got some new mats, some clothes and a new mop & broom for Darren. Thank God that man loves housework.

I also cooked 7 hour lamb on Sunday for a dinner with Jess, Adam & Xakk. I love this recipe & won't cook a roast any other way now.

preheat oven to 120 degrees Celsius
1 leg of lamb poked with holes & stuffed with garlic bulbs & oregano.
rub it with salt & pepper
brown it in some oil
put in a pot with a lid for the oven
add stock, white wine & a small amount of oil
bay leaves, thyme, rosemary - whatever you want.
put the lid on & leave alone for 7 hours

When done you'll be able to lift the bone straight out of the meat.
I've also used the left over cooking liquid as a soup base - it's so good.

This time I actually put 2 legs in the pot - 1 never seems to be enough. Along with a heap of veggies we had a really nice meal.

We watched Yes Man & Tropic Thunder - both were OK but not fantastic.

I've been making hand made cards on & off for about a year now. A friend runs a nursing home & has asked me to supply the home with birthday cards for the residents for a nominal amount of cash. So on Monday I spent the day making a bunch of cards to fill the order. While watching Australia with Darren. We both liked it.
I'm hoping the cards turn into a bit of a money maker - I'm going to work on stock piling a heap & taking them to work also. We'll see how that goes.

Home

2009-06-03T08:56:00.002+10:00

I'm at home today - I'm very, very tired & just could not drag my butt out of bed this morning.

A very busy week of late nights out, baby shower prep, the actual baby shower, & attending the launch of Wicked has taken it out of me. I'm also very overdue in my cycle (not pregnant) & I have a vague recollection of always feeling very tired when my cycle was all over the place. I'm also extremely moody.

Darren & I are getting on again, after a bumpy few days. He just needs a perspective adjustment sometimes! I think we just need to work on the delivery of that information to him.

I haven't posted a weight loss this week - because I didn't have one. I knew I wouldn't, so this week I wasn't surprised. It means that I've lost 4.3 in 5 weeks, and now I'll just do some perspective adjusting on myself.

4.4

2009-05-25T09:52:00.002+10:00

So I've lost 4.4 kilos in 4 weeks - not bad at all. I am happy with this - but I also know that I could have exercised more & I did have a few meals not supplied from the diet food company. So my goal this week & going forward is to try & get a bit more activity into my life.

On Friday I finally had a phone interview with DOCS - but it took me ringing them to see what was going on, for this to happen. I answered all the questions & spoke about if we would take siblings or if we would be okay taking a baby that was born addicted.

When I got home I started to tell Darren about the interview & when I mentioned about taking siblings he kind of pulled this face & then said he only wanted to take one child & that he only ever wanted one. I was stunned, we had discussed this previously & he agreed with me that we would take siblings if they were offered. (Darren has a history of agreeing to something & then when it comes time for that thing to happen he'll say "oh I never wanted to do this" - this pisses me off.)

He started listing his reasons - first was the fact that we only have the one spare room & that it isn't huge. This isn't a problem for DOCS & they are OK for siblings to share. And it's OK with me - yes it will be tight - but with some good organisation it would be fine. Besides it's not like they'll be in the bedroom all day every day.

Then he started saying it would be harder financially - I stated that we would get extra money for the extra child, & that this in fact would help us, because regardless of one child or two I intended to stay home for at least 6 months.

Then he starts to lecture me about how much my life will change! Like I'm a total idiot, as if I expect everything to stay the same & we'll just have this extra person at the dinner table. For God's Sake! I was a nanny for 7 years & I lived in aswell. The man is delusional if he thinks that I think things won't change for me. I'm quite aware that I won't be able to sit on my lazy bum & watch TV, I'm quite aware that I'll be doing more housework and I'm quite aware that my life will never be the same again.

I got so angry & frustrated (and I think PMS has a part in this) that I totally lost it. Usually in arguments I cry, I try not to but I do. This time I was beyond crying, I was so mad! I threw a bag of stuff that I was taking to Mum's (because you know all this was happening as we are supposed to be going out for dinner) and I roared! Just this massive guttural wall of sound came from so deep within me, that even I was surprised. I then stormed into our room - grabbed the door with both hands & slammed it as hard as I could & then threw myself on the bed.

It took 3 seconds for him to follow me.

We then talked a little more & a little more calmly - I can understand how Darren may think that I am not prepared for the extra work, after all I am very lazy at home & he does do 99% of our housework - BUT - it's not like I can't do it, and it's not like I won't do it. It's just that right now I don't have to do it.

I also tried to get him to understand that this is very hard for me. I'm still struggling with the fact that I feel like deciding to foster means that I've officially given up my chance to have my own baby. He will never understand how I feel about giving up being pregnant, breastfeeding, and everything else that comes with that. Everything that should have been a natural beautiful process is not going to happen for me. And that is hard.

We left for Mum's on better terms, & he did apologies for not being clearer in his expections of what we were stepping into. By the end of the weekend he had also talked to a couple of other people, and seems to be OK with whatever happens now - but we still need to talk more. I need to know that if we get two kids - that on a bad day, that he will never, ever say "I told you so" - because then, then I'd have to kill him.

Quote

2009-05-21T12:27:00.002+10:00

Our flooring quote came back at $3620 - so we signed on the dotted line. The installation will take place on the 6th of June. I can't wait to say good-bye to my disgusting cat vomit stained carpet. They are also offering a rug at cost price to everyone who orders hard flooring from them - so we will take up that offer later.

I can just imagine how nice it is going to look - hopefully it will also help to bring some light into a pretty dark apartment. We chose a golden honey shade called Beach something. We will now commence playing furniture Tetris until we can completely clear our living area floor. That will be fun!

I'm also relieved that the awful carpet will be gone before DOCS come anywhere near my place. We are still waiting to hear from them. It has been about a month since I sent our application. So I'm going to give them a call on Monday.

Next step is to replace or re-upholster the couch that my darling cats have absolutely ruined. But to do that we need some cat max mesh put up on the balcony so that the little buggers can spend their days outside. And their nights inside with us and a water bottle.

One

2009-05-18T09:09:00.004+10:00

This number is prominent this week.

I lost 1kg for a total of 3.8kg in 3 weeks - I'm very pleased with this. Particularly with the winterness that is happening in Sydney. I really would like some starchy comfort food. But I'm managing & I'm not starving - just really ready to eat!

I was also 1 number off in the lotto - one more number would have got us 1.5 million dollars! Instead we got $1380 - so even though this is great - 1.5 mill - would have been fantastic - Janna you would have been making up a bed.

Can't remember if I've mentioned it already, but at work I've signed on for the Global Corporate Challenge. This involves forming a group of 7 members & wearing a pedometer to keep track of your steps. Then you log your steps & the site tells you where in the world you have walked to. The start point is in India. And we start logging our steps on the 22nd for steps taken on the 21st. Here's the link if you want to see where I am - you can log on as a spectator.

http://www.gcc2009.com/Login.aspx?ReturnUrl=%2fDefault.aspx

The rest of my week consisted of work, our weekly trivia/raffle night, and a beautiful seafood dinner (off diet!) at SeaLevel in Cronulla with Mum & Dad, Michael & Yan. Each couple had a massive sea food platter. It was great but man did my body rebel when I got home.

On Sunday morning we went to Harvey Norman to get an idea of costs to get rid of our carpet & put down a floating wood laminate instead. They wanted about $6000!!! Way too high for us. So we went to Carpet Call - & they said around $3800 - much better. So the guy is coming tonight to measure up & give a final quote. We'll be happy if it doesn't go over $4000.

1.1

2009-05-11T09:57:00.003+10:00

I'm surprised - but happy with my week 2 result. I didn't actually walk in week 2 & went off diet a little (alcohol, and a night out) so I was expecting to be disappointed. So this result made me very happy & a little bit motivated.

We had a night out in the city to see Guys & Dolls at The Capitol Theatre - it was ok - but not great. What was great was the accommodation we booked at World Tower in the serviced apartments. We were in a massive 3 bedroom apartment with huge living areas. And the view from our floor to ceiling windows on the 65 floor was amazing. Looking west from the CBD out over Darling Harbour and North over the Harbour Bridge. We had initially planned to eat at a restaurant - but got take-away instead so that we could enjoy the view.
We are going to see Chicago! in July and even though it's on at Star City Casino we may book this same accommodation. Actually I'm seeing French & Saunders on the 8th of July then Chicago! on the 10th, I'm very tempted to book 3 nights & just stay in the City. Now if only I can get my budget to stretch that far.

Sunday was Mother's Day & a bunch of us went to Tea by the Sea in Stanwell Park, a pretty little cottage that serves High Tea. It was very nice except for the bit when the owner asked "how many mothers are here today?" and every woman at our table got to put up their hand except for me. It's those things that feel like a punch in the guts.

Commute

2009-05-08T10:08:00.002+10:00

I'm on public transport about 1 and 1/2 hours a day & have been doing this for about 12 years. I can't understand how people can be so damn ignorant of the fact that they are NOT in their own home - I have deemed it neccessary to lay down a few simple rules!

1. No toenail clipping on the train - in fact no nail clipping of any kind.
2. Turn the volume down on your Nintendo/PSP/mobile phone or put your headphones in when playing your stupid game.
3. Move over - it's not illegal to sit next to the window.
4. Move your feet - that way you don't have to give me a dirty look when I tread on them.
5. Don't sit in front of me & brush your hair.
6. Brush your teeth.
7. Wear deodorant.
8. Don't fart.
9. Girls keep you knees together.
10. Do not ever get on the train with any food item that smells remotely like hot chips!

Now if only we could get these to be a finable offence. Give the train police something to do instead of hassling people for tickets.

1.7

2009-05-04T09:51:00.002+10:00

That's what I dropped in weight last week. So that was 1 week of diet food & 2 thirty-five minute walks (would have been 3, but it rained). So I'm happy with that. I know it's only week 1 and that I probably won't continue with losses that big every week, but even at 1kg a week I'd be happy. So I celebrated with cake & alcohol!
Not enjoying the walking at all, I have to force myself off the train. The first walk I just stuck in my headphones & it went fairly quickly. The second walk, Darren joined me & talked AT me the whole way home - I think he helped me walk faster because I just wanted to get away from the "Blah, Blah work, Blah, blah" that was spewing from him. I love the man to death - but honestly I said nothing all the way home!

Spent the weekend with friends making cards out of the billions of dollars of supplies we have brought recently. Trying to get enough made to put some packs of 10 or 12 together to maybe sell them - will show them at work & see what happens. At the very least I will soon own a card for every occasion.

Busy weekend coming up.

Tagged

2009-04-28T09:17:00.003+10:00

So I got tagged - here's my answers....

1. When was your engagement? Christmas Eve 1997.

2. When is your marriage anniversary? 20 March.

3. How long have you known your spouse? Since January 1996, about 13 years!

4. How long did you date before you got engaged? Didn't really date - we just stayed at each others houses till he moved in about 3 months after we met.

5. Where did you meet your spouse? First saw him at a friends, sisters 21st. Then got introduced to him about 3 weeks later.

6. What is your spouse’s full name? Darren John Robinson AKA Dazza, Frank, Lanky

7. Do you have any children? Nup

8. How many? see 7

9. Do you have any pets? Yep 2 Cornish Rex cats - brother & sister - Supercat & Pyewackett

10. Do you own or rent? Own

11. Do you live in the country, city/town? Town

12. What is your favorite activity you do together? Going away anywhere always puts us in a good mood.

13. Do you have a favorite vacation spot? USA & Kiama

14. How many siblings do you have including in-laws? There's 2 in mine & 1 in his.

15. What mosque do you attend? Don't have

16. Is this the mosque you got married in? see 16

17. What town is your current address? Sutherland

18. Do you work or stay home? Work but would LOVE to stay home!

19. Where did you go for your honeymoon? Where else but Queensland.

20. Leave a piece of marriage advice and tag your friends. Don't get caught up on the little stuff.

Now I Tag you to answer...

http://roadtowren.blogspot.com/

Commitment

2009-04-27T08:58:00.002+10:00

So it's been a busy few days. Been talking to D a lot about our application to DOCS. I'm a little scared/worried about him going into an interview with DOCS case workers & anyone who knows him would understand why!
So I keep bringing up little questions to see what he will say. Like why do you want to foster?, & how will you discipline a naughty child?. Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit, his answers have been mostly OK, and the man is quite susceptible to others opinions, so after he answers I then say what I would say, and let him take that in. We mostly agree on our answers - he just lacks in the delivery. I would give anything to be a fly on the wall in his individual interview.

I also started a diet food program, with the food being delivered all prepared for you. This is the perfect lazy persons diet. I love it! though not a great start was had. On the very first day, we were out for lunch & dinner. I could have taken the dinner with me, but you know the dinner was at the Morphis' and you don't pass that up!
Sunday was much better, even though I was out at lunch time, I was at a friends so I took my lunch with me. So Sunday I only ate the program food. This was hard but not awful, it was a card making party and J (the host) had supplied heaps of food - sweet & savoury. I just tried really hard to ignore it & only had a couple of pieces of celery. And I hope to go on that way. D is great with this. He doesn't expect me to cook for him & is quite happy to look after himself. I do think it would be harder if I was having to get his food organised as well.
I also have to try to eat s l o w e r - I have a habit of eating to fast, and still feeling hungry. So I'm working on that also.

On top of the food, I'll be getting off the train one stop early & walking from there. That's about a 30 minute walk for me. I've done it before, but always gave up after only a couple of times. The goal is not to give up this time. It will be hard now that its colder & darker and I'll be damned if I'm doing it in the rain! But D says do it or I'll cancel the food - so that's my incentive! He thinks.

Done

2009-04-23T15:49:00.001+10:00

Today we filled in the Foster Carers Online Application Form for DOCS. I'm in two minds about this. The process can take such a long time, so it is better to get things started.
BUT, on one hand I'm faced with the thought that I'm not ready to give up the chance of carrying a child myself. I'm thinking about experiencing pregnancy, birth & breastfeeding. All those things that bring a mother & child together, am I ready to realise that those things won't happen for me? I'm not. And even though I know that you don't have to carry a child, or breastfeed it to love it, I'm jealous of everyone who gets to have that.
On the other hand, I know that D & I will be able to love & bond with any child that comes our way. I know that about myself, I know how I am. It's just scary to let go of those other dreams.
This is only the first step. We have a long way to go.

Better

2009-04-19T12:21:00.000+10:00

After 2 nights in my own bed I am definitely feeling better. Just got some dry lips happening from constant mouth breathing. I always feel like I've dropped IQ points when I have to do the mouth breathing thing.
The 2 furry kids are very happy that we are home & are constantly under our feet. I was in the bedroom tidying up (odd for me) & I had both of them on the other side of the door meowing for me. They aren't allowed in the bedroom. Pyewackett has figured out that the silver lever has something to do with accessing the forbidden room & will jump up to it over & over, she has yet to get it right though. Thank God.

Sick

2009-04-17T18:18:00.000+10:00

So there I was, planning a few nice days with the husband. We had enjoyed 4 days with friends at the campsite. They all packed up and went home on Monday & we had 5 days ahead of us for some "alone" time. But Tuesday morning I woke up with a sore throat that soon escalated to a raging head cold. So there went any quality "alone" time & we ended up actually having to talk to each other! And even cut our holiday short by one day. I just couldn't cope with the drop in temperature after 5pm. So we came home to see the furry kids, who were quite happy to see us.

Again

2009-04-07T15:54:00.000+10:00

I want to be witty & interesting but I'm not sure if I have it in me.
I do however have it in me to be excited about the little camping trip we are going on from the 9th. I am looking forward to doing nothing, absolutely nothing.
I plan to walk only the 10 steps to my ensuite toilet & shower, then the 10 steps back to my chair.
I plan to have a glass of wine constantly in my hand & a block of chocolate close by. A good book & interesting company for when I want it.
I plan to laugh, a lot, with some great people. Who get who I am. Who don't let me get away with shit, and who will always stand by me.
I plan to spend some quality time re-connecting with my husband. God knows we need it.

Back

2009-04-01T10:34:00.000+11:00

Yep I came back.
So that's something.
This Blog has been on my mind. I'm thinking it will be so boring that no one will ever read it.
Does that matter? Not really. I'll guess I'll just use it to amuse myself.

Why?

2009-03-30T11:27:00.000+11:00

Why?
Why add one more thing to the list of things I want to do?
Why give myself one more task to make excuses not to do?
Why?
I'm considering it to be a challenge, a challenge for myself to actually finish/continue something I've started. Because I'm great at starting things - just not so great at finishing them.
I've started craft projects, books, diets & home improvements and I really start well, all excited & obsessed by my new project. Investigating all the information and getting the best gear.
BUT - give me anywhere between 24 hours and a week and I'll be over it. Totally & completely over it, don't talk to me about it over it.
So we shall see how this goes. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I've always liked writing. So lets just see.