Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Update

So I'm trying to change my countdown ticker over there on the left, after our 2 ultrasounds we now have a new due date 06/06/2010. So that ticker should say 8 weeks & 3 days - I'll get there eventually.

Not too much to report. Had a fairly quiet weekend, topped off by a fantastic baked dinner featuring both beef & lamb on Sunday night. Totally fudged my cooking method & everything turned out great.

Monday morning I walked in the torrential rain to fill 8 vials with my blood. Then hung out on the couch waiting till 1pm when I had to drink my litre of water. By the time Darren came to get me at 3.30 I was busting! Thank God they didn't make me wait too long to go in. Scared myself for a second by confusing my bladder with my uterus - then focused on the little heart beat again. All still looks good.

Got a doctors appointment Thursday to talk about shared care etc & she will also have all the blood test results back. Then we've got Wicked on Friday night - I hope it's good.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Scare

I think I can only write about this because we had a happy outcome. But on Tuesday night I had a significant amount of bleeding, enough to totally freak me out, and make me think the worse.

It was just after 7, Darren was working late so I rang him to see if he was on his way home, he was close by so I said "don't put the car away - something is wrong" he came in & got me & we went to Kareena hospital after hours.

The whole time we waited I was just a mess. Darren was very good, just holding my hand.
We finally went in & the Dr was a complete git. Not one bit of empathy, I understand that these things happen, but in the middle of what you think is the worst time of your life, to be told to have a glass of wine & watch "rafters" - that'll cheer you up - was NOT appropriate. I just shut down at that point.

He gave me a form to get an ultrasound in the morning. We went home & I tried to ring Mum & Dad, but when Dad answered I just couldn't talk - Darren took the phone & explained, they offered to come over, but I said no. If it was bad, it was bad & them being there wouldn't make a difference.

Needless to say there was not much sleeping done Tuesday night. In the morning I rang Sutherland to get the ultrasound & the woman says "we've got nothing til next Wednesday" I explained that it was urgent, I was about 8 weeks & had, had bleeding and needed to check, & I'm crying at this point - she just repeats "we've got nothing til next Wednesday" - I hung up.
I rang Miranda & the lovely lady there heard how upset I was & said though they had no spaces she would get me in - & to start drinking the water & come there at 9.30.

Mum picked me up & we only had to wait about 10 minutes before I went in. The longest 10 minutes of my life. I told the lady that I'd had some bleeding & why I was there. She took about 20 seconds to turn the screen & show me the heart beat - flickering away like crazy - I just burst into tears. I don't think I have ever felt so relieved in my life. She then said she would do an internal for a better view. So I got to go pee & then I got mum to come in.

The baby measured at about 1.4cm & the heartbeat was about 173 beat a minute. We couldn't really tell head from bum, but it all looked good and in the right position. I'm in love with a little tiny flickering blob!

As soon as we got out I rang Darren & mum rang dad. Then we went to eat!

We are still having our booked in scan on Monday - so Darren can fall in love too!

So we've that out of our system now, ok baby - no more scary stuff!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Eight

As you can see by my ticker we are currently at week eight.
And I am feeling it.
I am feeling the sore boobs, the constant nausea, the tiredness & the crabbiness. And I'm sure Darren is feeling it too!
I keep reminding myself that I wanted this, that I prayed for this, that I wished for this, over & over again throughout the last 10 years. But man I hate the vomiting!

Work is also sucking right now. The new system is not great - I'm sure it will be eventually, but I really can't understand how they can launch it when we can't use it. Not only was our training woeful, but the system is so plagued with errors that even when we know what to do - the system won't do it. I was getting very stressed about this & actually found myself in tears at home, than Darren snapped me out of it. I can't fix it so I need to not let it bother me. So I totally swung the other way & just totally ignored it for a week. Today I made a little headway into understand some of the processes but the errors stuff it up, so I'll just keep plodding along - at least everyone is in the same boat.

On Saturday morning we went to LOOK at prams - so of course we brought one! (I did make them write on the receipt that we could have a full refund if required though!) We got a Steelcraft Strider DLX - it is a travel system but we didn't buy the capsule bit - cause baby will probably only use it for 6 months & we'd need another seat anyway. We did get the bassinet & the stroller bit though. You should have seen Darren kicking the tires & checking the welds! He was amazed by Babies Galore & kept saying "what's that?" "what does that do?" "Do we need one of them?" - they are having a massive sale this weekend - so we may go back & get a car seat.

We have our first scan a week from today (26th) so fingers crossed that all is well & this little one sticks to the end.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

HOW?

How do I get pregnant? - not technically obviously - but how?
After 10 years of all sorts of up & downs & meds & natural stuff & doing nothing & going back on the pill & giving up & applying to be foster carers - How does this happen!!!

We are currently sitting at 6 weeks & 2 days pregnant - & I still don't know how. I'm happy, worried, excited, scared, obsessing, stressing & in dream land all at once. I'm constantly repeating the same little mantra in my head all day "easy pregnancy, healthy baby" it's all I can think about.

I'm more teary than usual, can't watch the news. I'm extra gaggy (if that's a word) I'm bad enough normally. I'm tired, so, so tired. I'm so, so bloated!

Darren is great, so proud of himself & so excited. He is looking after me so well. This will be a massive learning curve for him. Last night he said "so the baby needs what, 3 or 4 grow suits?" I just shook my head - he has no idea. He is asking about camping next Easter - I'll be around 7 & 1/2 months then - I suggested we waited a little longer before we worry about the logistics of getting my fat arse up onto that camping trailer bed - we may need some kind of pulley system. He sometimes doesn't realise when I'm joking.

So now we wait. We have a 9 week scan on the 26th of October to determine how many babies & to make sure it's where it should be. Then the normal 12 week scan. So fingers crossed people!