So I'm trying to change my countdown ticker over there on the left, after our 2 ultrasounds we now have a new due date 06/06/2010. So that ticker should say 8 weeks & 3 days - I'll get there eventually.
Not too much to report. Had a fairly quiet weekend, topped off by a fantastic baked dinner featuring both beef & lamb on Sunday night. Totally fudged my cooking method & everything turned out great.
Monday morning I walked in the torrential rain to fill 8 vials with my blood. Then hung out on the couch waiting till 1pm when I had to drink my litre of water. By the time Darren came to get me at 3.30 I was busting! Thank God they didn't make me wait too long to go in. Scared myself for a second by confusing my bladder with my uterus - then focused on the little heart beat again. All still looks good.
Got a doctors appointment Thursday to talk about shared care etc & she will also have all the blood test results back. Then we've got Wicked on Friday night - I hope it's good.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Scare
I think I can only write about this because we had a happy outcome. But on Tuesday night I had a significant amount of bleeding, enough to totally freak me out, and make me think the worse.
It was just after 7, Darren was working late so I rang him to see if he was on his way home, he was close by so I said "don't put the car away - something is wrong" he came in & got me & we went to Kareena hospital after hours.
The whole time we waited I was just a mess. Darren was very good, just holding my hand.
We finally went in & the Dr was a complete git. Not one bit of empathy, I understand that these things happen, but in the middle of what you think is the worst time of your life, to be told to have a glass of wine & watch "rafters" - that'll cheer you up - was NOT appropriate. I just shut down at that point.
He gave me a form to get an ultrasound in the morning. We went home & I tried to ring Mum & Dad, but when Dad answered I just couldn't talk - Darren took the phone & explained, they offered to come over, but I said no. If it was bad, it was bad & them being there wouldn't make a difference.
Needless to say there was not much sleeping done Tuesday night. In the morning I rang Sutherland to get the ultrasound & the woman says "we've got nothing til next Wednesday" I explained that it was urgent, I was about 8 weeks & had, had bleeding and needed to check, & I'm crying at this point - she just repeats "we've got nothing til next Wednesday" - I hung up.
I rang Miranda & the lovely lady there heard how upset I was & said though they had no spaces she would get me in - & to start drinking the water & come there at 9.30.
Mum picked me up & we only had to wait about 10 minutes before I went in. The longest 10 minutes of my life. I told the lady that I'd had some bleeding & why I was there. She took about 20 seconds to turn the screen & show me the heart beat - flickering away like crazy - I just burst into tears. I don't think I have ever felt so relieved in my life. She then said she would do an internal for a better view. So I got to go pee & then I got mum to come in.
The baby measured at about 1.4cm & the heartbeat was about 173 beat a minute. We couldn't really tell head from bum, but it all looked good and in the right position. I'm in love with a little tiny flickering blob!
As soon as we got out I rang Darren & mum rang dad. Then we went to eat!
We are still having our booked in scan on Monday - so Darren can fall in love too!
So we've that out of our system now, ok baby - no more scary stuff!!
It was just after 7, Darren was working late so I rang him to see if he was on his way home, he was close by so I said "don't put the car away - something is wrong" he came in & got me & we went to Kareena hospital after hours.
The whole time we waited I was just a mess. Darren was very good, just holding my hand.
We finally went in & the Dr was a complete git. Not one bit of empathy, I understand that these things happen, but in the middle of what you think is the worst time of your life, to be told to have a glass of wine & watch "rafters" - that'll cheer you up - was NOT appropriate. I just shut down at that point.
He gave me a form to get an ultrasound in the morning. We went home & I tried to ring Mum & Dad, but when Dad answered I just couldn't talk - Darren took the phone & explained, they offered to come over, but I said no. If it was bad, it was bad & them being there wouldn't make a difference.
Needless to say there was not much sleeping done Tuesday night. In the morning I rang Sutherland to get the ultrasound & the woman says "we've got nothing til next Wednesday" I explained that it was urgent, I was about 8 weeks & had, had bleeding and needed to check, & I'm crying at this point - she just repeats "we've got nothing til next Wednesday" - I hung up.
I rang Miranda & the lovely lady there heard how upset I was & said though they had no spaces she would get me in - & to start drinking the water & come there at 9.30.
Mum picked me up & we only had to wait about 10 minutes before I went in. The longest 10 minutes of my life. I told the lady that I'd had some bleeding & why I was there. She took about 20 seconds to turn the screen & show me the heart beat - flickering away like crazy - I just burst into tears. I don't think I have ever felt so relieved in my life. She then said she would do an internal for a better view. So I got to go pee & then I got mum to come in.
The baby measured at about 1.4cm & the heartbeat was about 173 beat a minute. We couldn't really tell head from bum, but it all looked good and in the right position. I'm in love with a little tiny flickering blob!
As soon as we got out I rang Darren & mum rang dad. Then we went to eat!
We are still having our booked in scan on Monday - so Darren can fall in love too!
So we've that out of our system now, ok baby - no more scary stuff!!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Eight
As you can see by my ticker we are currently at week eight.
And I am feeling it.
I am feeling the sore boobs, the constant nausea, the tiredness & the crabbiness. And I'm sure Darren is feeling it too!
I keep reminding myself that I wanted this, that I prayed for this, that I wished for this, over & over again throughout the last 10 years. But man I hate the vomiting!
Work is also sucking right now. The new system is not great - I'm sure it will be eventually, but I really can't understand how they can launch it when we can't use it. Not only was our training woeful, but the system is so plagued with errors that even when we know what to do - the system won't do it. I was getting very stressed about this & actually found myself in tears at home, than Darren snapped me out of it. I can't fix it so I need to not let it bother me. So I totally swung the other way & just totally ignored it for a week. Today I made a little headway into understand some of the processes but the errors stuff it up, so I'll just keep plodding along - at least everyone is in the same boat.
On Saturday morning we went to LOOK at prams - so of course we brought one! (I did make them write on the receipt that we could have a full refund if required though!) We got a Steelcraft Strider DLX - it is a travel system but we didn't buy the capsule bit - cause baby will probably only use it for 6 months & we'd need another seat anyway. We did get the bassinet & the stroller bit though. You should have seen Darren kicking the tires & checking the welds! He was amazed by Babies Galore & kept saying "what's that?" "what does that do?" "Do we need one of them?" - they are having a massive sale this weekend - so we may go back & get a car seat.
We have our first scan a week from today (26th) so fingers crossed that all is well & this little one sticks to the end.
And I am feeling it.
I am feeling the sore boobs, the constant nausea, the tiredness & the crabbiness. And I'm sure Darren is feeling it too!
I keep reminding myself that I wanted this, that I prayed for this, that I wished for this, over & over again throughout the last 10 years. But man I hate the vomiting!
Work is also sucking right now. The new system is not great - I'm sure it will be eventually, but I really can't understand how they can launch it when we can't use it. Not only was our training woeful, but the system is so plagued with errors that even when we know what to do - the system won't do it. I was getting very stressed about this & actually found myself in tears at home, than Darren snapped me out of it. I can't fix it so I need to not let it bother me. So I totally swung the other way & just totally ignored it for a week. Today I made a little headway into understand some of the processes but the errors stuff it up, so I'll just keep plodding along - at least everyone is in the same boat.
On Saturday morning we went to LOOK at prams - so of course we brought one! (I did make them write on the receipt that we could have a full refund if required though!) We got a Steelcraft Strider DLX - it is a travel system but we didn't buy the capsule bit - cause baby will probably only use it for 6 months & we'd need another seat anyway. We did get the bassinet & the stroller bit though. You should have seen Darren kicking the tires & checking the welds! He was amazed by Babies Galore & kept saying "what's that?" "what does that do?" "Do we need one of them?" - they are having a massive sale this weekend - so we may go back & get a car seat.
We have our first scan a week from today (26th) so fingers crossed that all is well & this little one sticks to the end.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
HOW?
How do I get pregnant? - not technically obviously - but how?
After 10 years of all sorts of up & downs & meds & natural stuff & doing nothing & going back on the pill & giving up & applying to be foster carers - How does this happen!!!
We are currently sitting at 6 weeks & 2 days pregnant - & I still don't know how. I'm happy, worried, excited, scared, obsessing, stressing & in dream land all at once. I'm constantly repeating the same little mantra in my head all day "easy pregnancy, healthy baby" it's all I can think about.
I'm more teary than usual, can't watch the news. I'm extra gaggy (if that's a word) I'm bad enough normally. I'm tired, so, so tired. I'm so, so bloated!
Darren is great, so proud of himself & so excited. He is looking after me so well. This will be a massive learning curve for him. Last night he said "so the baby needs what, 3 or 4 grow suits?" I just shook my head - he has no idea. He is asking about camping next Easter - I'll be around 7 & 1/2 months then - I suggested we waited a little longer before we worry about the logistics of getting my fat arse up onto that camping trailer bed - we may need some kind of pulley system. He sometimes doesn't realise when I'm joking.
So now we wait. We have a 9 week scan on the 26th of October to determine how many babies & to make sure it's where it should be. Then the normal 12 week scan. So fingers crossed people!
After 10 years of all sorts of up & downs & meds & natural stuff & doing nothing & going back on the pill & giving up & applying to be foster carers - How does this happen!!!
We are currently sitting at 6 weeks & 2 days pregnant - & I still don't know how. I'm happy, worried, excited, scared, obsessing, stressing & in dream land all at once. I'm constantly repeating the same little mantra in my head all day "easy pregnancy, healthy baby" it's all I can think about.
I'm more teary than usual, can't watch the news. I'm extra gaggy (if that's a word) I'm bad enough normally. I'm tired, so, so tired. I'm so, so bloated!
Darren is great, so proud of himself & so excited. He is looking after me so well. This will be a massive learning curve for him. Last night he said "so the baby needs what, 3 or 4 grow suits?" I just shook my head - he has no idea. He is asking about camping next Easter - I'll be around 7 & 1/2 months then - I suggested we waited a little longer before we worry about the logistics of getting my fat arse up onto that camping trailer bed - we may need some kind of pulley system. He sometimes doesn't realise when I'm joking.
So now we wait. We have a 9 week scan on the 26th of October to determine how many babies & to make sure it's where it should be. Then the normal 12 week scan. So fingers crossed people!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Quick!!!
So, so busy - the new systems training is killing me!
NO time to update properly here.
Give me another week & I'll provide a full update.
NO time to update properly here.
Give me another week & I'll provide a full update.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Weekend
We had a packed weekend, mostly spent in lovely surrounds.
Darren picked me up from work on Friday & we went & checked into The Swissotel on Market St. From the minute we walked in the door we felt like everyone was there just for us. The concierge took our bags & directed us up to level 8 for check-in. The staff at check-in were friendly & informative. We went up to our room on the 22nd floor, & as I put the key in the door I said to Darren "I'm expecting this room to be great" & it was. Lots of space, a king size bed & a gorgeous bathroom. Our bags arrived & the guy gave us a walk through of the room, telling us how everything worked - even the complimentary cappuccino machine!
We went & checked out the pool area so we could decide whether we would have a drink by the pool, in our room or at the bar. There were other people hanging around "our" pool. So we opted to have a drink in the Lobby Bar. It was there that I discovered my new favourite drink - a Toffee Apple. So, so good. I had 2 & was very close to drunk! We wandered back upstairs to get ready for dinner. I had a lovely bath, & got dolled up.
The Restaurant specialises in fondue - 3 types. We chose to not have the fondue as our main because Jess & Adam were coming to check in the next day & we thought it would be more fun to have it with them. So we both ordered steak & it was cooked to perfection. We then had a chocolate fondue for desert - very yummy. Then we headed upstairs to enjoy our room.
Next morning we had a great buffet breakfast, including made to order omelette's, waffles & rosti. We then walked to the QVB building to see if the Pandora shop was open, so Darren could get me some more Pandora charms for my birthday. It was open, I chose 2 new charms, one is a purple murano glass & the other is silver with amethysts in it. After the QVB we walked towards Darling Harbour, our booking at the hotel came with a double pass to the Aquarium or the Wildlife World. As Darren had never been to the Aquarium we chose that. It was ok, we saw the shark feeding - more sedate then I expected, & the dugongs were pretty cute also.
For lunch we headed to The James Squires Brewhouse on King St Wharf. This place is huge, way bigger then I expected. As the weather was really warming up & we knew we would be here for a while we chose to sit inside at a booth with comfy seats. I started with ice-water & Darren ordered a Highwayman brew. We just sat & relaxed, talking a bit about our course the next day & what might happen there. After about an hour Jess & Adam arrived & we ordered our lunch. Darren & I went small as we'd had that huge breakfast & knew we would be having an early dinner.
After lunch we headed back towards the hotel so Jess & Adam could check-in. Darren & I went into Myer for a bit. Then we all met up back at the hotel. Darren & Adam watched the V8's while Jess & I hung out in her room. We then got ready for dinner & went for a cocktail in the bar downstairs - I introduced Jess to the toffee apple & she like it too.
For dinner we all ordered the Fondue Chinoise, which consists of 2 different broths, one chicken based & one beef based, though not strongly tasting of these, being placed on the table in the traditional looking fondue set up. The idea was that you went to the buffet & selected from a range of raw meat & seafood that has been thinly sliced. There was also a large variety of dipping sauces, & a very large salad bar. You threaded your meat onto the skewers provided then used the broth to cook it. It was fun & something different & Darren ate his weight in prawns! Jess & Adam had the chocolate fondue for desert & Darren & I shared a banana cheesecake.
We all had tickets for Avenue Q - http://www.avenueqthemusical.com.au/ - so we headed to the Theatre Royal - at a fast walk - as we were running late! We made it in time & settled in to watch the funniest most inappropriate puppet show that I have ever seen. This is a great show, but definitely not for anyone who is easily offended & definitely not for kids!
When the show was over we went back to the hotel & stopped in the bar for another drink, we discussed if we were going to have breakfast together or not, as Darren & I would be leaving the hotel by 8am to get to the 8.50am start for our course & the others didn't have to leave until 11am. We decided if they were up they would join us but if not they wouldn't. They didn't - but a very groggy looking Jess wrapped in a towel knocked on our door at 7.15am & handed me an Eeyore pen for my birthday! Funny.
We got the car after breakfast & headed to Strawberry Hills for our course. We were both a bit nervous about what to expect. There are 26 people in the group - more than I expected, & it gets heavy straight away. I guess you know that these kids aren't in lovely homes & that is why they come into care, but I guess most people don't realise how bad the situation can be.
We had a full day, with a couple of breaks for the nice food that is supplied. We covered lots of stuff including confidentiality, which is a major thing. Darren did great - he stayed awake & participated well! I was a little worried I'd catch him napping - as he is doing long hours at work & when he's just sitting he usually goes to sleep! We have 2 more Sundays & then about 6 more assessments at our home. Our contact has told us that those assessments may not take place until next year.
We finished up at about 5.15pm & went straight to Loftus for my Birthday dinner. I did get the 2 pies as requested so that was yummy. I also got Dexter season 3 & some pj's. The night finished early as we had to get home & check the cats. They were happy to see us. But I was not happy to see their vomit.
Darren picked me up from work on Friday & we went & checked into The Swissotel on Market St. From the minute we walked in the door we felt like everyone was there just for us. The concierge took our bags & directed us up to level 8 for check-in. The staff at check-in were friendly & informative. We went up to our room on the 22nd floor, & as I put the key in the door I said to Darren "I'm expecting this room to be great" & it was. Lots of space, a king size bed & a gorgeous bathroom. Our bags arrived & the guy gave us a walk through of the room, telling us how everything worked - even the complimentary cappuccino machine!
We went & checked out the pool area so we could decide whether we would have a drink by the pool, in our room or at the bar. There were other people hanging around "our" pool. So we opted to have a drink in the Lobby Bar. It was there that I discovered my new favourite drink - a Toffee Apple. So, so good. I had 2 & was very close to drunk! We wandered back upstairs to get ready for dinner. I had a lovely bath, & got dolled up.
The Restaurant specialises in fondue - 3 types. We chose to not have the fondue as our main because Jess & Adam were coming to check in the next day & we thought it would be more fun to have it with them. So we both ordered steak & it was cooked to perfection. We then had a chocolate fondue for desert - very yummy. Then we headed upstairs to enjoy our room.
Next morning we had a great buffet breakfast, including made to order omelette's, waffles & rosti. We then walked to the QVB building to see if the Pandora shop was open, so Darren could get me some more Pandora charms for my birthday. It was open, I chose 2 new charms, one is a purple murano glass & the other is silver with amethysts in it. After the QVB we walked towards Darling Harbour, our booking at the hotel came with a double pass to the Aquarium or the Wildlife World. As Darren had never been to the Aquarium we chose that. It was ok, we saw the shark feeding - more sedate then I expected, & the dugongs were pretty cute also.
For lunch we headed to The James Squires Brewhouse on King St Wharf. This place is huge, way bigger then I expected. As the weather was really warming up & we knew we would be here for a while we chose to sit inside at a booth with comfy seats. I started with ice-water & Darren ordered a Highwayman brew. We just sat & relaxed, talking a bit about our course the next day & what might happen there. After about an hour Jess & Adam arrived & we ordered our lunch. Darren & I went small as we'd had that huge breakfast & knew we would be having an early dinner.
After lunch we headed back towards the hotel so Jess & Adam could check-in. Darren & I went into Myer for a bit. Then we all met up back at the hotel. Darren & Adam watched the V8's while Jess & I hung out in her room. We then got ready for dinner & went for a cocktail in the bar downstairs - I introduced Jess to the toffee apple & she like it too.
For dinner we all ordered the Fondue Chinoise, which consists of 2 different broths, one chicken based & one beef based, though not strongly tasting of these, being placed on the table in the traditional looking fondue set up. The idea was that you went to the buffet & selected from a range of raw meat & seafood that has been thinly sliced. There was also a large variety of dipping sauces, & a very large salad bar. You threaded your meat onto the skewers provided then used the broth to cook it. It was fun & something different & Darren ate his weight in prawns! Jess & Adam had the chocolate fondue for desert & Darren & I shared a banana cheesecake.
We all had tickets for Avenue Q - http://www.avenueqthemusical.com.au/ - so we headed to the Theatre Royal - at a fast walk - as we were running late! We made it in time & settled in to watch the funniest most inappropriate puppet show that I have ever seen. This is a great show, but definitely not for anyone who is easily offended & definitely not for kids!
When the show was over we went back to the hotel & stopped in the bar for another drink, we discussed if we were going to have breakfast together or not, as Darren & I would be leaving the hotel by 8am to get to the 8.50am start for our course & the others didn't have to leave until 11am. We decided if they were up they would join us but if not they wouldn't. They didn't - but a very groggy looking Jess wrapped in a towel knocked on our door at 7.15am & handed me an Eeyore pen for my birthday! Funny.
We got the car after breakfast & headed to Strawberry Hills for our course. We were both a bit nervous about what to expect. There are 26 people in the group - more than I expected, & it gets heavy straight away. I guess you know that these kids aren't in lovely homes & that is why they come into care, but I guess most people don't realise how bad the situation can be.
We had a full day, with a couple of breaks for the nice food that is supplied. We covered lots of stuff including confidentiality, which is a major thing. Darren did great - he stayed awake & participated well! I was a little worried I'd catch him napping - as he is doing long hours at work & when he's just sitting he usually goes to sleep! We have 2 more Sundays & then about 6 more assessments at our home. Our contact has told us that those assessments may not take place until next year.
We finished up at about 5.15pm & went straight to Loftus for my Birthday dinner. I did get the 2 pies as requested so that was yummy. I also got Dexter season 3 & some pj's. The night finished early as we had to get home & check the cats. They were happy to see us. But I was not happy to see their vomit.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Aftermath
So to report on the DOCS visit. It was interesting. Lots of questions & information, leaving us with more things to think about.
The only answer we gave that was received with a small amount of negativity was that I would, after 4 or 5 months, have to go back to work for 3 days a week. Apparently they really don't like you to work more then 2 days, or for the child to be away from a parent for more than 2 days. But, I know that this won't be a major issue. Honestly if they knock us back for this reason alone, that would be crazy. I think they have to state what they see as the ideal situation & then they'll work with you to get as close to that as possible. Obviously I would love not to have to go back to work, but we have to be practical & do stuff like PAY THE MORTGAGE!
It was a 2 hour visit. We covered topics such as our infertility & how we have dealt with that (counselling), what age child we would like (under 2), whether we would do a short term placement (no), whether we would take siblings (maybe), whether we would take a special needs child (no), what we would do if the child was OK when it came to us but had issues in the future (deal with it as it comes, educate ourselves - would not send child back) and questions about the people in our lives.
We asked about medical records & medical care, travel, visitation with natural parents & siblings, the training course & a bunch of other stuff that came up.
She did a basic check of our place, seeing if there were any obvious dangers. The only thing we need to do - which we are anyway - is get some cupboard doors for the 2nd bedroom. The other thing we want to do is put some catmax catmesh up on our balcony so Supercat & Pyewackett can go outside without supervision, also the cat litter can go out there too.
The other thing we spoke about was how the process is very long, as I said previously I expected things to slow down. She thinks that after the course ends (27/09) that we could be waiting until next year for the next step of assessment to start. They are very understaffed. So we'll just wait.
Tonight we check into The Swissotel for our 2 night stay. I can't wait. Fondue for dinner tonight, buffet breakfasts, a visit to the Pandora shop & Avenue Q tickets for Saturday night, all leading up to day 1 of our course on Sunday.
Also I requested Hostage in a Pie & a Lemon Meringue birthday cake for Sunday night - I hope mum heard me!
The only answer we gave that was received with a small amount of negativity was that I would, after 4 or 5 months, have to go back to work for 3 days a week. Apparently they really don't like you to work more then 2 days, or for the child to be away from a parent for more than 2 days. But, I know that this won't be a major issue. Honestly if they knock us back for this reason alone, that would be crazy. I think they have to state what they see as the ideal situation & then they'll work with you to get as close to that as possible. Obviously I would love not to have to go back to work, but we have to be practical & do stuff like PAY THE MORTGAGE!
It was a 2 hour visit. We covered topics such as our infertility & how we have dealt with that (counselling), what age child we would like (under 2), whether we would do a short term placement (no), whether we would take siblings (maybe), whether we would take a special needs child (no), what we would do if the child was OK when it came to us but had issues in the future (deal with it as it comes, educate ourselves - would not send child back) and questions about the people in our lives.
We asked about medical records & medical care, travel, visitation with natural parents & siblings, the training course & a bunch of other stuff that came up.
She did a basic check of our place, seeing if there were any obvious dangers. The only thing we need to do - which we are anyway - is get some cupboard doors for the 2nd bedroom. The other thing we want to do is put some catmax catmesh up on our balcony so Supercat & Pyewackett can go outside without supervision, also the cat litter can go out there too.
The other thing we spoke about was how the process is very long, as I said previously I expected things to slow down. She thinks that after the course ends (27/09) that we could be waiting until next year for the next step of assessment to start. They are very understaffed. So we'll just wait.
Tonight we check into The Swissotel for our 2 night stay. I can't wait. Fondue for dinner tonight, buffet breakfasts, a visit to the Pandora shop & Avenue Q tickets for Saturday night, all leading up to day 1 of our course on Sunday.
Also I requested Hostage in a Pie & a Lemon Meringue birthday cake for Sunday night - I hope mum heard me!
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