Hi!

Well I almost went a month without an entry - very, very lazy I know. But very easy to do. I just kept looking at my laptop & going "nup".
I still really don't feel like making an entry but I guess the guilt got to me. Not sure if I like being made to feel bad for not blogging, it comes under all those things that I start, then stop and then feel bad about stopping. I've actually been playing with a challenge for myself to blog every day for a month. I keep pushing back the start date on that though!

So I went back to work last week after my 2 weeks off. I hate work. It just pisses me off. The only good thing about going back was finding out that I had missed out on the YP training. This would have been the 5th time I had done that training. They like to put us in training when there isn't much work. But they always time it so that when you get out of training WP picks up so much that you don't do YP for ever & by then you need training again. Thank God I missed it.

This Friday night we are having our big Shine dinner (reward program at work). I'm going though I won't be receiving anything. It is being held at Waterfront on the harbour. The Sebel Pier One is above it, so Darren & I have booked a room. We got a fantastic deal which includes a waterfront room & breakfast for 2 for only $219. The breakfast alone is $60 a head (massively overpriced) but because it's included we are happy with that. A couple of other people from work are staying too.

We started to do a spring clean in our bedroom last Saturday. I started before Darren got home from work. We had had a bit of rain get in & I moved a box to find mooouuullddd!!!!!! AGHHHHH. I hate mould. So I chucked the box & emptied all the drawers in the tall boy so I could move it to clean the wall. When I moved the tall boy I then discovered the back of it was also covered in mould. I could clean the wall but I could not get the mould off the back of the drawers. So I stopped & waited till Darren got home. I told him we had to get new drawers. I could not fathom keeping those drawers at all - let alone having them in our room. So we headed to the Salvos & Vinnies - hoping for a 2nd hand bargain. But of course they had nothing, so we went to the Supacentre & checked out 5 or 6 places in there. My God drawers are expensive. We ended up spending $460 for a 9 drawer unit. Our original one was 6 drawers & about my head height. This new one is low line, about my waist height, & I think the drawers are smaller - but I have 3 extra ones so we should be right. And it will not be being placed under the window either! Darren will pick it up on Friday before he comes into the city. Delivery would have added another $55! Rip off.

We've had no news on the DOCS front. As far as I know the next thing will be them talking to our references, & that hasn't happened yet. This weekend I want to start going through what will be the kids room - we need to make it a usable space, & I need to stop using it as a store room for whatever I don't want to look at.

In other news - Amazing Race starts again this week. I spent an hour nursing Ayisha. Darren lost his voice for about 4 days. Supercat spewed in my slippers. I haven't weighed myself for 3 weeks. We need to catch up with the Morphis family. I need to make some more cards. I need to finish typing my grandads notes. I need to finish about 3 cross stitch projects. I need another me.

Back soon - maybe.

7.7

Yes I'm back. I apologise for the slackness. Basically I had nothing interesting to talk about really. Then I've been sick again with no inclination to sign on.

In weighing myself yesterday found out I've lost 7.7 kilos since the beginning of May. I'm happy with that. I really want to see my number go below 100 though.

Massive event occured at 12.03 pm Monday 29th June - Ayisha Clare Laidler made her way into the world. Michael & Sharizan's little one. I went to see her last night - though didn't hold her & tried not to breathe near her - I'm still a bit sick (couldn't stay away though) as I'm headed to Tasmania tomorrow & wouldn't have seen her until she was over a week old - I couldn't do that! She is very petite & has her mama's nose. She is cute as a button & I can't wait to get my hands on her. Little Miss Abbey, Ayisha's cousin who is almost a year old really wanted to touch her - it was funny watching her trying to get her hands on Ayisha.

So I've been feeling pretty disgusting since last Friday, started wheezing at lunchtime & had a full blown fever by that night. Mum dragged me out to a card making thing at Cindy's at which I was miserable. She bought me home 2 hours later just in time for the vomiting to start. So that was great. I've been living on the couch & fighting over the doona with the cats. The most I can stomach is an orange. I can't believe I'm getting on a plane for an even colder climate tomorrow night. I don't usually go to the doctor for colds (unless I need the note for work) & as Friday was my last day at work for 2 weeks (yes that's the 2nd time this year I've been sick in my holidays!) I haven't been to the doctor but unless I have a miraculous overnight recovery I will be going tomorrow. I think I need a puffer of some sort for the chestiness. Mum is not impressed that I'm going away with her sick. I'm not either. I've somehow got to work up the energy to pack. Not to mention shave my legs!

So that's it guys - not much to tell except for Ayisha's arrival. I'll be sure to post when I get back from Tassie - after the 7th.

Stuff

The floors are done - they look amazing & I'm so happy with them. It has made the space look bigger, even with all the furniture back where it was before. Pyewackett christened them on the first night - it is so much easier to clean cat puke off a hard floor!

The cats were locked in the bathroom during the installation & when we opened the door Supercat just sauntered out like normal, but Pyewackett did not want to step off the tiles onto the wood. She just kept pacing the doorway until I called her to me, she soon got used to it. But they have both had to learn the hard way that they have no braking power on this smooth floor. Supercat spent a good hour head-butting walls while trying to stop. Most entertaining thing I have seen for a long time.

Saturday night we went to the Smithson's for a catch-up, we nearly didn't go because we were pretty tired, but after some tough love from Louise we got off our arses & went. Both of us were glad we did. We had a very relaxed, enjoyable night just chatting & laughing & drinking - a lot! We were also glad it was a long weekend so we had an extra day to recover.

We go to a local club on Thursday nights for raffles & trivia, once a month they have a $400 draw for a voucher. I was lucky enough to win the last one, so on Sunday we headed to Kmart to spend it. We got some new mats, some clothes and a new mop & broom for Darren. Thank God that man loves housework.

I also cooked 7 hour lamb on Sunday for a dinner with Jess, Adam & Xakk. I love this recipe & won't cook a roast any other way now.

preheat oven to 120 degrees Celsius
1 leg of lamb poked with holes & stuffed with garlic bulbs & oregano.
rub it with salt & pepper
brown it in some oil
put in a pot with a lid for the oven
add stock, white wine & a small amount of oil
bay leaves, thyme, rosemary - whatever you want.
put the lid on & leave alone for 7 hours

When done you'll be able to lift the bone straight out of the meat.
I've also used the left over cooking liquid as a soup base - it's so good.

This time I actually put 2 legs in the pot - 1 never seems to be enough. Along with a heap of veggies we had a really nice meal.

We watched Yes Man & Tropic Thunder - both were OK but not fantastic.

I've been making hand made cards on & off for about a year now. A friend runs a nursing home & has asked me to supply the home with birthday cards for the residents for a nominal amount of cash. So on Monday I spent the day making a bunch of cards to fill the order. While watching Australia with Darren. We both liked it.
I'm hoping the cards turn into a bit of a money maker - I'm going to work on stock piling a heap & taking them to work also. We'll see how that goes.

Home

I'm at home today - I'm very, very tired & just could not drag my butt out of bed this morning.

A very busy week of late nights out, baby shower prep, the actual baby shower, & attending the launch of Wicked has taken it out of me. I'm also very overdue in my cycle (not pregnant) & I have a vague recollection of always feeling very tired when my cycle was all over the place. I'm also extremely moody.

Darren & I are getting on again, after a bumpy few days. He just needs a perspective adjustment sometimes! I think we just need to work on the delivery of that information to him.

I haven't posted a weight loss this week - because I didn't have one. I knew I wouldn't, so this week I wasn't surprised. It means that I've lost 4.3 in 5 weeks, and now I'll just do some perspective adjusting on myself.

4.4

So I've lost 4.4 kilos in 4 weeks - not bad at all. I am happy with this - but I also know that I could have exercised more & I did have a few meals not supplied from the diet food company. So my goal this week & going forward is to try & get a bit more activity into my life.

On Friday I finally had a phone interview with DOCS - but it took me ringing them to see what was going on, for this to happen. I answered all the questions & spoke about if we would take siblings or if we would be okay taking a baby that was born addicted.

When I got home I started to tell Darren about the interview & when I mentioned about taking siblings he kind of pulled this face & then said he only wanted to take one child & that he only ever wanted one. I was stunned, we had discussed this previously & he agreed with me that we would take siblings if they were offered. (Darren has a history of agreeing to something & then when it comes time for that thing to happen he'll say "oh I never wanted to do this" - this pisses me off.)

He started listing his reasons - first was the fact that we only have the one spare room & that it isn't huge. This isn't a problem for DOCS & they are OK for siblings to share. And it's OK with me - yes it will be tight - but with some good organisation it would be fine. Besides it's not like they'll be in the bedroom all day every day.

Then he started saying it would be harder financially - I stated that we would get extra money for the extra child, & that this in fact would help us, because regardless of one child or two I intended to stay home for at least 6 months.

Then he starts to lecture me about how much my life will change! Like I'm a total idiot, as if I expect everything to stay the same & we'll just have this extra person at the dinner table. For God's Sake! I was a nanny for 7 years & I lived in aswell. The man is delusional if he thinks that I think things won't change for me. I'm quite aware that I won't be able to sit on my lazy bum & watch TV, I'm quite aware that I'll be doing more housework and I'm quite aware that my life will never be the same again.

I got so angry & frustrated (and I think PMS has a part in this) that I totally lost it. Usually in arguments I cry, I try not to but I do. This time I was beyond crying, I was so mad! I threw a bag of stuff that I was taking to Mum's (because you know all this was happening as we are supposed to be going out for dinner) and I roared! Just this massive guttural wall of sound came from so deep within me, that even I was surprised. I then stormed into our room - grabbed the door with both hands & slammed it as hard as I could & then threw myself on the bed.

It took 3 seconds for him to follow me.

We then talked a little more & a little more calmly - I can understand how Darren may think that I am not prepared for the extra work, after all I am very lazy at home & he does do 99% of our housework - BUT - it's not like I can't do it, and it's not like I won't do it. It's just that right now I don't have to do it.

I also tried to get him to understand that this is very hard for me. I'm still struggling with the fact that I feel like deciding to foster means that I've officially given up my chance to have my own baby. He will never understand how I feel about giving up being pregnant, breastfeeding, and everything else that comes with that. Everything that should have been a natural beautiful process is not going to happen for me. And that is hard.

We left for Mum's on better terms, & he did apologies for not being clearer in his expections of what we were stepping into. By the end of the weekend he had also talked to a couple of other people, and seems to be OK with whatever happens now - but we still need to talk more. I need to know that if we get two kids - that on a bad day, that he will never, ever say "I told you so" - because then, then I'd have to kill him.

Quote

Our flooring quote came back at $3620 - so we signed on the dotted line. The installation will take place on the 6th of June. I can't wait to say good-bye to my disgusting cat vomit stained carpet. They are also offering a rug at cost price to everyone who orders hard flooring from them - so we will take up that offer later.

I can just imagine how nice it is going to look - hopefully it will also help to bring some light into a pretty dark apartment. We chose a golden honey shade called Beach something. We will now commence playing furniture Tetris until we can completely clear our living area floor. That will be fun!

I'm also relieved that the awful carpet will be gone before DOCS come anywhere near my place. We are still waiting to hear from them. It has been about a month since I sent our application. So I'm going to give them a call on Monday.

Next step is to replace or re-upholster the couch that my darling cats have absolutely ruined. But to do that we need some cat max mesh put up on the balcony so that the little buggers can spend their days outside. And their nights inside with us and a water bottle.

One

This number is prominent this week.

I lost 1kg for a total of 3.8kg in 3 weeks - I'm very pleased with this. Particularly with the winterness that is happening in Sydney. I really would like some starchy comfort food. But I'm managing & I'm not starving - just really ready to eat!

I was also 1 number off in the lotto - one more number would have got us 1.5 million dollars! Instead we got $1380 - so even though this is great - 1.5 mill - would have been fantastic - Janna you would have been making up a bed.

Can't remember if I've mentioned it already, but at work I've signed on for the Global Corporate Challenge. This involves forming a group of 7 members & wearing a pedometer to keep track of your steps. Then you log your steps & the site tells you where in the world you have walked to. The start point is in India. And we start logging our steps on the 22nd for steps taken on the 21st. Here's the link if you want to see where I am - you can log on as a spectator.

http://www.gcc2009.com/Login.aspx?ReturnUrl=%2fDefault.aspx

The rest of my week consisted of work, our weekly trivia/raffle night, and a beautiful seafood dinner (off diet!) at SeaLevel in Cronulla with Mum & Dad, Michael & Yan. Each couple had a massive sea food platter. It was great but man did my body rebel when I got home.

On Sunday morning we went to Harvey Norman to get an idea of costs to get rid of our carpet & put down a floating wood laminate instead. They wanted about $6000!!! Way too high for us. So we went to Carpet Call - & they said around $3800 - much better. So the guy is coming tonight to measure up & give a final quote. We'll be happy if it doesn't go over $4000.